lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

From:

[He can't say he's terribly surprised to get a message from Maketh, but that doesn't mean he's entirely sure how to respond when he does. So there's a short delay before he replies, answer somewhat short.]

We should.

[But he's leaving it up to her to carry this conversation for now.]

From:

mismanagement

i would prefer to do it in person

i understand if you would not

From:

lifetothefullest

[He'd really rather not, but he's done a lot of things he'd rather not and he refuses to let fear make his decisions.]

Fine.

We can meet outside Delight's temple.

[It's a neutral place, halfway between where each of them lives, and public enough that even if there's no one actually around it's not a completely isolated location.]

From:

mismanagement

understood.

[No part of her wants to leave the apartment. Truthfully, Maketh wants nothing more than to retreat to her room and drink herself into oblivion for the foreseeable future - she has enough whiskey stockpiled to make a good attempt of it - but that is weak, and she is an officer still. She has a duty to perform.

So she gets dressed and goes out to explain herself.

It's not far to Delight's temple and nothing attacks her. It's good, because she left the rifle behind - only a knife to arm herself with, and only because Henry insisted. There's no need to die foolishly.

She's sitting on the temple steps when she sees Lnace, dressed in her hunting coat and boots. Unlike before, her hair is in a loose braid hanging off her shoulder, and she's wearing a thick hoodie under her coat, hood pulled over her face.

It's soft. It's strangely comforting. She's tired. And perhaps looking like a soldier all the time isn't so good.

Silently, she takes the knife from her sleeve and stabs it into the dirt between them.

That's something, isn't it?]

From:

lifetothefullest

[Lance isn't really interested in leaving the house either, honestly. He's been doing so as little as possible for the last few days, but at least since he'd already gotten up and made a post on the network there's less effort to go through in order to be ready to leave; he's already dressed, so he just has to find shoes and grab his gun. He still has no desire to use it, but he's not walking into a potentially dangerous situation unarmed again.

Maketh looks less intimidating than usual when he sees her sitting on the steps, but that doesn't necessarily mean she won't be threatening. It just means she either didn't want to come across that way--for whatever reason--or she couldn't muster up the energy to look any more put together than she does.

He doesn't approach particularly closely, remaining about ten feet away; it's not far enough to draw his gun if he needs to, but it's far enough that she wouldn't be able to reach him with a knife like the one she produces, and he immediately tenses for a moment before she stabs it into the ground.

It is something, although he would've preferred if she hadn't brought the weapon at all. It is, after all, still in reach if she decides to go back on the little show of peace at a later point.

Still, for now he draws himself up to his full height, staring down at her with an impassive expression; he doesn't say anything, content with the silence and to see if it'll prompt her into starting.]

From:

mismanagement

[So, here they are.

Maketh watches him for a long moment. She's too tired to play this game out much longer. If there are rules to this engagement, she doesn't know them. The Empire reacted to failure in predictable ways, doled out punishments that could be anticipated and prepared for. This is new, uncharted territory.

It would be easier if he would just strike her, Maketh thinks. Beat her senseless and leave it at that. A clean break. But she has a feeling that he would be horrified by the suggestion, and fail to see the logic therein.

Thus, here they are. Staring at each other.]

What now?

[She watches him, vaguely curious.]

I don't know the rules for this.

From:

lifetothefullest

There aren't rules.

[This isn't a simple situation, and it isn't one that he actually knows how to handle; he knows how he'd advise someone to handle it, but it's a lot easier to tell other people what to do than to do it yourself. There are, however, a few possible outcomes he can see here, but they all depend on how she decides to proceed, and he isn't going to coach her into the correct one.

He will, however, ask--]

What do you think should happen?

From:

mismanagement

There are always rules.

[Maketh shrugs. She decides to tell the truth.]

I don't know. On Lothal I would have been shot. Or beaten and stripped of my rank if they decided I should live.

[It's all said very matter-of-factly.]

I don't know the rules here.

From:

lifetothefullest

So you're most concerned with the consequences to yourself.

[He says it neutrally, but coming from him it's pretty clear that the neutrality is interchangeable with coldness.]

I'm not going to retaliate, if that's what you wanted to find out.

From:

mismanagement

Only you, Henry, and Hux are fully aware of what I did. None of you gain anything from informing Hadriel and destabilizing the Guard.

[She tips her head to the side.]

Why not?

From:

lifetothefullest

[That's not the point he was trying to get across, but he refrains from rolling his eyes although it takes a few seconds of thought before he replies to her question. Not because he doesn't know the answer, but because he isn't sure how much he wants to say; the explanations that are closest to the truth and keep coming to mind are far too personal.

Still, he figures out a way to say it that is somewhat removed and also based in logic; maybe she'll understand that.]

Because there is absolutely nothing beneficial that would come out of doing so.

From:

mismanagement

And what beneficial outcome will you gain from this?

[There must be one, or he would have cut her loose entirely. Dead weight gets dropped. Maketh has already proven herself a liability. Surely that must be true in his world as well.]

From:

lifetothefullest

'This' being what?

[There are a few ways to interpret what she said, and he wants to be clear on what she meant.]

From:

mismanagement

This moment. Speaking with me at all.

[He'd be well within his rights to refuse and cut all contact with her. Maketh isn't sure why he hasn't.]

From:

lifetothefullest

I'd hoped you might've had a chance to reflect upon your actions and choices, and come to some conclusions or decisions.

[How someone reacts to their mistakes is an incredibly important indicator of their outlook, personality, and mental state. But she mostly just seems concerned with consequences so far.]

From:

mismanagement

Oh.

[Maketh hasn't really. She failed and that must be accounted for. Later, when she's not so exhausted, then there will be reflection.

Maybe. It's new. Difficult, too. She's used to burying things when they're no longer immediately relevant.]

I made Henry worry.

[She frowns.]

I do that a lot.

From:

lifetothefullest

But worrying him is not enough to stop you from doing whatever it is you'd like to do.

[Considering what she said about drinking in the Orchard, and that she'd very purposefully not informed Henry of her plans regarding Sato, it seems like a statement he can make definitively.]

From:

mismanagement

No.

[Maketh tips her her head back.]

He's a good person. I'm likely a psychopath. He shouldn't have to do those things.

From:

lifetothefullest

Alright, first of all, there are exactly three people here qualified to make that diagnosis, and you're not one of them. Neither is Will.

[Just starting off there, and sure, maybe there's someone else around with the necessary knowledge and training to diagnose mental illness but he's pretty certain it's limited to himself and the two psychiatrists.]

And while you do fit some of the qualifications, those that are applicable can be caused by other factors. I'm also confident in stating that you exhibit certain characteristics that would essentially disqualify a diagnosis of psychopathy, sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder; whichever you'd like to call it.

[That said--]

So you can't use that as an excuse for your actions, and so you're going to have to take responsibility for them.

From:

mismanagement

[Maketh doesn't know what any of those things are. Maybe she could look them up if her data pad still worked. But he disagrees with Will's assessment.

Curious.

She watches him for a long moment, confused.]

I am not excusing my actions. They were my own.

From:

lifetothefullest

Then do something to change them, instead of repeating them the very next time that it's the easiest thing to do.

[He crosses his arms in frustration as he speaks, although his tone remains mostly even.]

Have you learned anything, from any of what happened a few days ago?

From:

mismanagement

Like what?

[It's a genuine question. Her protocols are flawed. She doesn't know how to correct them.

Maketh shrugs. It's hard to feel much of anything right now. She can hear the tension in Lance's voice, the way his shoulders are beginning to bunch up. Clearly she's not saying the right things or saying them in the right way.]

I don't know what you want me to say.

From:

lifetothefullest

[God who may or may not exist, give him strength. At least enough strength to keep his temper under control, which is not something he typically struggles with, but he's had a very hard last few weeks. Or more like six weeks, really.

Finally, he manages to come up with something relatively professional, unlike most of the things that are coming to mind at the moment.]

Is there anything you would've done differently, looking back on the situation now?

From:

mismanagement

[That's a strange thing to ask. She already acted. There's no point in looking back and wondering what-if.

But he asked. Maketh shrugs again.]

Talked with Henry first.

[It doesn't matter. She disappointed him again.]