[Excuse you he also has really too-large sweatpants on but pretty much yeah also his hair is a disaster.
He usually tries to be first to these sorts of things, but there's just no way to manage it in this case; he shows up after Elena but at least a little before the half hour is up, dressed in suit but definitely a little more disheveled than he usually likes to appear. Still, there's only so much he can do in a limited time, but at least he's dressed and sort of tamed his hair.]
Hello, Elena. Sorry, I didn't expect you to get here so early.
[He leads the way into the Clinic, glancing around briefly, but it seems empty. No surprise, at this time of night.]
[ Of the people she knows here, she doubts she'll be the one to judge him on his appearance, especially this late. ]
You don't have to apologize. [ She's following him, staying close, getting a darkened look around the clinic since the first time she'd been there. ] Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. [ Seeing her. She sounds like a woman in therapy already. The whiff of blood blindsides her, eyes changing. She can feel it, turning her head as they do. The further away they get, the less she smells it.
Being a vampire is a never-ending lesson in will power.
He closes the door and the smell dissipates, her eye color returning. She doesn't know what she expected. Two chairs and a table. But, he is new.
In her chair finally, she doesn't know where to start. Doesn't know if she's the first to sit, to break and realize she needed help. ] Have you started seeing patients here?
[He really does need to figure out decorating a bit, but even his office at home is relatively simple and he's been so distracted here that it's probably a miracle he managed to get two chairs together. He'd actually had to shove one of them into place about two inches at a time, not having healed enough at that point to be able to risk putting in more effort at once; at least that's changed now, even if he's not going to be moving anything particularly heavy for awhile longer still.
He takes the chair across from her, nodding at her question.]
Yes, a few.
[She's not the first, if that's what she's concerned about, and he offers a small, hopefully calming smile.]
And I'm sure you're probably already aware of this, but I'll tell you what I told them; anything you say here won't leave this room, unless you give permission otherwise.
[ She's not concerned. She's biding her time. Stalling, as her aunt Jenna might put it. ]
It can't. [ She says it too quickly in response, probably ringing more alarm bells then she'd like. ] It shouldn't. [ That's said slower. Hopefully, he understands that. Except, would there be a time he'd need to? ] With the exception of putting myself or anyone else in danger. That's a clause, right? That, I give you permission for.
[He's glad he doesn't have to explain that part, and that she's fine with it; it can sometimes be an issue for people. He doesn't think much of her insistence on keeping the rest confidential, though, as that's not unusual at all.]
Do you have any other questions, or are you ready to begin?
[It's a genuine question, but also a gentle nudge to go ahead and start talking about whatever it is that's bothering her so much that she wanted to meet so quickly.]
[ Her insistence comes from others' safety. And, hers, if it ever came down to it. But, Elena would be the last person to stoop to suicide. Not that she hasn't given her life up for the safety of her friends and loved ones before.
She doesn't. ]
Only that, what I might talk about will be unbelievable, and just as unbelievable as being here - maybe more, which isn't a question. [ She draws her lips together, deciding to start where they left off the night he explained sanctimoniously what he felt. The night she was as. ] His name is Klaus. He was born a witch, to a family of witches. [ She pauses. ] This is actually a long story, but everything matters. I might not be here if it weren't for him. [ Or, his mother. ] Werewolves are older than vampires. We don't know the root of their curse, we thought maybe it was something magic, a curse, but that turned out of be a thousand year ploy for Klaus to eventually get what he wanted. Klaus and his family are the Originals. The first vampires. Their mother used magic to turn them after one of their youngest siblings, [ she recalls ] Henrik, died. Her spell made them immortal, but magic has consequences. To live forever they had to drink blood. They weren't born predators. They were made.
[He's really not sure what he was expecting to hear, but the start of her story really isn't it. She's right that it's difficult to believe, mostly because his world doesn't have anything like this, but being here and seeing the things he has so far means he can suspend disbelief well enough to follow along with what she's saying.
He can also, of course, draw the connection between what she's saying so far and what they discussed last, and he feel a brief worry that their talk might have something to do with why she's here now. But speculating on that won't help anything at the moment, and instead he gives a small nod to show he's listening and understanding if she wants to continue.]
It's complicated, but, Klaus is also a werewolf, and because he'd never been triggered, he stayed an Original vampire. There's more, more to it, and his family, but the part that matters here is that, he wanted to trigger the curse. It's what he always wanted. Killing me did that. I'm a doppelgänger. My bloodline was created in order to break the curse. [ Or, this is what she's learned as of now. There's a lot more to it, but to Elena, everything goes back to her. And the Originals. ] There's even more. [ There's always more. ] He's the reason anything has happened to me. Because of him my ancestor killed herself, she became a vampire and ran for over five hundred years. Her name is Katherine and she looks just like me. We're called doppelgängers. [ She was. ]
[Yeah, complicated is a nice word for this. So this Klaus guy is a witch, a werewolf, and a vampire all at the same time? If he weren't so sure Elena were telling the truth--or believes she is, but at this point that might as well be the same thing--then he'd assume this was some sort of really odd prank.
Still, the details of how her world works are ultimately less important than the consequences of them, and he doesn't miss that comment about killing her. But he doesn't say anything just yet, still filing information away and thinking it's best to let her get everything out, and just nods again.]
It's what I am. [ She grimaces. ] It's what I was. [ She looks away, then back to Lance. ] I've never done this before, is this all that it is? Do I just talk? [ Is she saying too much? There's so much, Lance. ]
It's a lot. And it gets harder to follow. [ She's never spoken like this, about everything all at once. ] I want to say that I don't know what I want to say, but I do. I have to. I have these emotions I need to deal with and I'm scared that I can't.
[He assures her, since it seems like she really does want to keep going, although maybe not without a little more encouragement considering her last comment.]
You can. That you're here and willing to even try says a lot on its own.
No, I can't try, I need to do it. I can't let it be too much. [ Have vampires turned it off for less? But, maybe she can come at this from another angle. Klaus will always be there. Enduring. This, she's heard. ] I moved out. From the first spire without Caroline.
For more than one reason. [ Not that that response is of any help. She pauses, not knowing what to say. ] We said things, things we can't take back. [ She's holding back. He knows she is. She doesn't know how she can say what she needs to. But, she knows she needs to. ]
[ He didn't ask the question she expected to hear. ] How I said them. Not what I said. Not everything. Am I supposed to blame the gods? I don't blame Caroline. [ But, she blames herself. Which makes no sense when she doesn't blame Caroline. She was as out of herself as Caroline had been. ]
[Okay, it's previous obvious something major happened between them, presumably during the event that just happened. He remembers that people were getting pretty angry in the last few days--even he'd lost his temper a few times, although the only casualties had been a few thrown pillows--and if Elena and Caroline had a fight that was influenced by the gods, it would definitely be a confusing situation to sort out. Even more so if the fight was actually about something serious.
Now he'll ask the question that was probably expected.]
[ The million dollar question. Her eyes lock, remembering it. Remembering trying to get through to Caroline. And then dropping to the ground. There are things she can't avoid. Making this choice ensures that. ] Caroline thought I wasn't having enough fun. I tried to get through to her, [ She looks away, her eye waters, her palm coming up to wipe it away. ]
[He watches her expression change, and the start of tears, but it's hard to get a gauge of how serious whatever conflict she and Caroline had just from that. What isn't difficult to gauge, though, is that it's very serious to her.]
Not then. We argued a few days later. [ Her breath shudders out. She steels herself and hardens her heart as she looks back at him. ] Caroline's a vampire. She turned me. She fed me her blood and then she killed me. [ She has to add, quickly tacking on ] I'm not dangerous. I don't -- want to hurt people. There's a switch vampires have. It's called a humanity switch, and when things get too hard or impossible to take, vampires can flip it. [ It's not as simple as that, not for vampires like Stefan, but it's the easiest way to explain it. ] I don't want to flip mine, I can't, but everything is amplified.
[ Including feelings. ] It's why I'm here. I need to talk, I need to work through everything that happened. I lost my parents in a car accident. And my aunt to Klaus. My biological mother and father because of Klaus. Alaric because of Klaus' mother. [ Her breathing quickens but she regulates herself, eyes closing. ] If this is too much, understand. You didn't sign up to hear about the life and death of Elena Gilbert. Either time.
[Lance doesn't understand the humanity switch thing, but even though he's aware it's important he really doesn't care the moment; he's still much more stuck on the part about Elena's friend killing her. The vampire stuff, whatever, it's just a different context and situation and motive and those specifics aren't as important right now as the very universally understandable trauma of being hurt--especially seriously--by a friend.
He can't keep the shock off his face despite being in his professional psychologist mode, but he immediately shakes his head at Elena's last comments, shifting to sit forward in his chair to help convey how serious he is. It's especially necessary because his voice goes a little quieter, not really on purpose, but his tone is calm and certain.]
It isn't too much. I'm glad you came to speak to me, and I'm going to do whatever I can to help.
[He's seen, and heard, and lived his own share of horror stories; it's part of what he does, part of his job. If the situation were less serious, he might've told her that this is actually exactly what he signed up for.
But ultimately, the point he wants her to understand is that he's there to help, and she shouldn't feel guilty or unsure or anything else about telling him all of this. That said, there is a lot to sort out, and he starts trying to mentally do so as he asks a question; he told her he would if he were lost, after all.]
I don't quite understand what you mean by humanity switch; could you explain it further?
[He feels like it's important to fully understand before he starts trying to help her with it and everything else.]
[ She listens to him. Most important of all, she believes him. ]
After transitioning, when you're a vampire everything amplifies. Speed and strength. Sounds, smells. Every sense. Every skill. But, you amplify. Everything you are, everything you feel. Some vampires reach a point where they can't take feeling. It's too much for them, so they turn it off. They stop feeling. Everything. Anything. Everything that makes them who they are, their remorse, their grief. It ends. I've only ever seen it twice. Once with a vampire named Damon, who, over time switched his back, if it was ever flipped in the first place. And once with his brother, Stefan. Klaus made him turn his humanity off. [ She remembers back, pursing her lips. ] But, what was worse was when he broke through. He did something I never thought he would ever be capable of. [ To her. ] I'm afraid of finally feeling everyone I lost, everyone I'll never see again, the resentment that had built up between Caroline and me. But, I'm afraid of when Caroline breaks through, because she will. I'm afraid of after.
[Most of that he can understand, at least theoretically, although it feels like every time she explains something specific it brings up new questions; what is 'breaking through?' Is Caroline's humanity switch on or off?
He's torn between asking for more details--he needs to know what he's dealing with in order to help--or focusing on what Elena has told him so far, and decides to go with the latter. Right now he thinks it's best to work on one thing at a time, and let her leave this meeting tonight with at least a little bit of hope that things will be alright.]
Okay. So if I understand this all correctly, you're feeling overwhelmed because of the intensifying of what you were already feeling about past and present situations and experiences, and you want to find a way to manage that without having to resort to shutting off your emotions completely.
[If that's right, that's definitely something that can be worked on. Vampires and humanity switches aside, that's a situation that can arise with humans too; retreating from any emotion is not an uncommon coping mechanism, even if it's a terribly unhealthy one.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-06-06 09:21 pm (UTC)but pretty much yeah also his hair is a disaster.He usually tries to be first to these sorts of things, but there's just no way to manage it in this case; he shows up after Elena but at least a little before the half hour is up, dressed in suit but definitely a little more disheveled than he usually likes to appear. Still, there's only so much he can do in a limited time, but at least he's dressed and sort of tamed his hair.]
Hello, Elena. Sorry, I didn't expect you to get here so early.
[He leads the way into the Clinic, glancing around briefly, but it seems empty. No surprise, at this time of night.]
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Date: 2017-06-06 09:33 pm (UTC)You don't have to apologize. [ She's following him, staying close, getting a darkened look around the clinic since the first time she'd been there. ] Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. [ Seeing her. She sounds like a woman in therapy already. The whiff of blood blindsides her, eyes changing. She can feel it, turning her head as they do. The further away they get, the less she smells it.
Being a vampire is a never-ending lesson in will power.
He closes the door and the smell dissipates, her eye color returning. She doesn't know what she expected. Two chairs and a table. But, he is new.
In her chair finally, she doesn't know where to start. Doesn't know if she's the first to sit, to break and realize she needed help. ] Have you started seeing patients here?
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Date: 2017-06-06 09:45 pm (UTC)He takes the chair across from her, nodding at her question.]
Yes, a few.
[She's not the first, if that's what she's concerned about, and he offers a small, hopefully calming smile.]
And I'm sure you're probably already aware of this, but I'll tell you what I told them; anything you say here won't leave this room, unless you give permission otherwise.
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Date: 2017-06-06 10:15 pm (UTC)It can't. [ She says it too quickly in response, probably ringing more alarm bells then she'd like. ] It shouldn't. [ That's said slower. Hopefully, he understands that. Except, would there be a time he'd need to? ] With the exception of putting myself or anyone else in danger. That's a clause, right? That, I give you permission for.
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Date: 2017-06-06 10:41 pm (UTC)[He's glad he doesn't have to explain that part, and that she's fine with it; it can sometimes be an issue for people. He doesn't think much of her insistence on keeping the rest confidential, though, as that's not unusual at all.]
Do you have any other questions, or are you ready to begin?
[It's a genuine question, but also a gentle nudge to go ahead and start talking about whatever it is that's bothering her so much that she wanted to meet so quickly.]
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Date: 2017-06-06 11:20 pm (UTC)She doesn't. ]
Only that, what I might talk about will be unbelievable, and just as unbelievable as being here - maybe more, which isn't a question. [ She draws her lips together, deciding to start where they left off the night he explained sanctimoniously what he felt. The night she was as. ] His name is Klaus. He was born a witch, to a family of witches. [ She pauses. ] This is actually a long story, but everything matters. I might not be here if it weren't for him. [ Or, his mother. ] Werewolves are older than vampires. We don't know the root of their curse, we thought maybe it was something magic, a curse, but that turned out of be a thousand year ploy for Klaus to eventually get what he wanted. Klaus and his family are the Originals. The first vampires. Their mother used magic to turn them after one of their youngest siblings, [ she recalls ] Henrik, died. Her spell made them immortal, but magic has consequences. To live forever they had to drink blood. They weren't born predators. They were made.
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Date: 2017-06-06 11:31 pm (UTC)He can also, of course, draw the connection between what she's saying so far and what they discussed last, and he feel a brief worry that their talk might have something to do with why she's here now. But speculating on that won't help anything at the moment, and instead he gives a small nod to show he's listening and understanding if she wants to continue.]
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Date: 2017-06-07 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 12:28 am (UTC)Still, the details of how her world works are ultimately less important than the consequences of them, and he doesn't miss that comment about killing her. But he doesn't say anything just yet, still filing information away and thinking it's best to let her get everything out, and just nods again.]
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Date: 2017-06-07 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 12:38 am (UTC)[He's still sorting things out mentally as he responds, watching her expression and reaction as well.]
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Date: 2017-06-07 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 12:58 am (UTC)[He assures her, since it seems like she really does want to keep going, although maybe not without a little more encouragement considering her last comment.]
You can. That you're here and willing to even try says a lot on its own.
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Date: 2017-06-07 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 01:08 am (UTC)Why did you move out?
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Date: 2017-06-07 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 04:29 am (UTC)Would you take them back if you could?
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Date: 2017-06-07 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 04:53 am (UTC)Now he'll ask the question that was probably expected.]
What happened?
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Date: 2017-06-07 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 05:29 am (UTC)And you had an argument?
[Based on what she said about things being said.]
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Date: 2017-06-07 05:41 am (UTC)[ Including feelings. ] It's why I'm here. I need to talk, I need to work through everything that happened. I lost my parents in a car accident. And my aunt to Klaus. My biological mother and father because of Klaus. Alaric because of Klaus' mother. [ Her breathing quickens but she regulates herself, eyes closing. ] If this is too much, understand. You didn't sign up to hear about the life and death of Elena Gilbert. Either time.
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Date: 2017-06-07 06:16 am (UTC)He can't keep the shock off his face despite being in his professional psychologist mode, but he immediately shakes his head at Elena's last comments, shifting to sit forward in his chair to help convey how serious he is. It's especially necessary because his voice goes a little quieter, not really on purpose, but his tone is calm and certain.]
It isn't too much. I'm glad you came to speak to me, and I'm going to do whatever I can to help.
[He's seen, and heard, and lived his own share of horror stories; it's part of what he does, part of his job. If the situation were less serious, he might've told her that this is actually exactly what he signed up for.
But ultimately, the point he wants her to understand is that he's there to help, and she shouldn't feel guilty or unsure or anything else about telling him all of this. That said, there is a lot to sort out, and he starts trying to mentally do so as he asks a question; he told her he would if he were lost, after all.]
I don't quite understand what you mean by humanity switch; could you explain it further?
[He feels like it's important to fully understand before he starts trying to help her with it and everything else.]
no subject
Date: 2017-06-07 06:50 am (UTC)After transitioning, when you're a vampire everything amplifies. Speed and strength. Sounds, smells. Every sense. Every skill. But, you amplify. Everything you are, everything you feel. Some vampires reach a point where they can't take feeling. It's too much for them, so they turn it off. They stop feeling. Everything. Anything. Everything that makes them who they are, their remorse, their grief. It ends. I've only ever seen it twice. Once with a vampire named Damon, who, over time switched his back, if it was ever flipped in the first place. And once with his brother, Stefan. Klaus made him turn his humanity off. [ She remembers back, pursing her lips. ] But, what was worse was when he broke through. He did something I never thought he would ever be capable of. [ To her. ] I'm afraid of finally feeling everyone I lost, everyone I'll never see again, the resentment that had built up between Caroline and me. But, I'm afraid of when Caroline breaks through, because she will. I'm afraid of after.
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Date: 2017-06-08 01:09 am (UTC)He's torn between asking for more details--he needs to know what he's dealing with in order to help--or focusing on what Elena has told him so far, and decides to go with the latter. Right now he thinks it's best to work on one thing at a time, and let her leave this meeting tonight with at least a little bit of hope that things will be alright.]
Okay. So if I understand this all correctly, you're feeling overwhelmed because of the intensifying of what you were already feeling about past and present situations and experiences, and you want to find a way to manage that without having to resort to shutting off your emotions completely.
[If that's right, that's definitely something that can be worked on. Vampires and humanity switches aside, that's a situation that can arise with humans too; retreating from any emotion is not an uncommon coping mechanism, even if it's a terribly unhealthy one.]
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