[IC Inbox | Meadowlark]

[lifetothefullest]

@lance.sweets | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[variate]

We did.
So did you.

[lifetothefullest]

I presume you have a point you're getting to.

[variate]

Why didn't you do anything?

[lifetothefullest]

Is that what this is about?

[variate]

You don't have to answer.

[lifetothefullest]

I'm aware.

Do you want to have an actual discussion, or is this more about trying to prove why I shouldn't be annoyed with all of you?

[variate]

I don't have anything to prove to you.
With everything that happened, I don't want you to blame Kyna.

[lifetothefullest]

You can not want that all you like, but unless you're going to tell me that you somehow forced her into doing this--which I highly doubt--then although it's admirable that you want to protect a friend, that's not how this works.

Besides, we've already discussed the issue, so I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish.

[variate]

I want to know why you didn't do anything.

[lifetothefullest]

And what exactly is that going to accomplish? This isn't about me, and I'm not exactly interested in having a serious conversation over text.

[variate]

It is about you. If you want to meet somewhere and talk, that's fine too.

[lifetothefullest]

Sure, let's meet. Red Wings is an easy location, but if you're prefer someone less public, that's fine.

[variate]

My shift is over at 1 a.m.
If you don't mind staying that late.

[lifetothefullest]

I don't, I'm usually awake then anyway.

[Not having to work at the FBI let his schedule go back to a more natural one, so being up at all hours of the night is fine with him.

And as promised, he'll wander into Red Wings around 1 am.]

[variate]

[ it's still open, but on a weeknight even the night owls are beginning to wander out. Ren's in an apron, wiping down the bar with a rag, diligently going around each of the corners to make sure that it's clean. if it's something he takes very seriously, it's his job. ]

Did you want a drink?

[lifetothefullest]

[He nods in greeting, but then shakes his head at the question.]

I'm fine, thank you.

[He might need a drink later, but for now he'll hold off. He wanders further into the bar, glancing around; it's different when it's so quiet, in a good way. He may have a social job and like people--for the most part--in general, but he's still very introverted and prefers the lower energy environment.

He isn't sure if Ren is finished with work or still finishing up, so he won't bother him more just yet unless he starts up conversation.]

[variate]

[ it's better off the network. there's an uneasiness because of Lance's similarities to someone that he knew—and there's something else that he has to know.

so he sits across from him, this time without his apron. he reaches up to take his glasses off. beneath his glasses there's an intensity to him that he usually hides behind them. ]

Are you going to answer?

[ good as any place to start.

he doesn't see to be annoyed or on the offensive, on the contrary he seems steady, if not a little firm. ]

[lifetothefullest]

[In person is definitely better; Lance vastly prefers being able to read tone, body language, and expression in order to figure out what he's dealing with and how to proceed. The fact that the glasses may be for show is kind of amusing, because it's something he could've seen himself doing as a teenager, but he doesn't show it.

Although he's annoyed with this situation, and with most other people wouldn't be entertaining this conversation--or would be far more aggressive in controlling it--his intuition tells him that Ren is doing his best. That makes this a different situation than it might be with someone who he thinks is motivated by more selfish goals, and he's inclined to be more patient. Besides, he remembers being a teenager, and he was a teenager a lot like what he's seen of Ren so far.

So, after a moment, he counters the intensity with a more casual posture and offers a small shrug.]

I'm presuming you meant about the Riverstone situation specifically. I didn't act because sometimes choosing not to do anything is the best decision, and I didn't see a benefit that outweighed the risk in terms of getting involved.

[variate]

[ he's been here a while—he saw through Judas' pass through the UNA to the Displaced, the simulation, and tried to point them in a different direction that wasn't being used. his arms cross over his chest as he leans back, his expression hard to read. ]

There's something that you're afraid of, something worse than being used.

[ hence "risk."

that's what he wanted to know. what that was might help him frame all of this. ]

[lifetothefullest]

[Some part of him bristles a little at the wording but he reminds himself that it's not necessarily inaccurate, and this doesn't sound like a jab so much as just wanting more information. So he's quiet a moment, considering how he wants to word things and watching Ren's posture, before responding.]

Organizations, companies, governments; anything that large and influential is not something you want to make an enemy of unless you absolutely have to. It can go very badly very quickly, the moment you lose whatever value--or use, to go with your wording--you might hold to them. Being used isn't exactly an ideal situation, but if that's the position you end up in it's one that, if you're careful enough, can be played to your advantage.

[And directly drawing the ire of Riverstone, as well as potentially damaging their plans if they think that now all the Displaced will be more suspicious of their motives, both puts them all at new risk and loses the option to use Riverstone's plans against them.]

[variate]

[ when he was a Phantom Thief, those in power used others to further their agendas. at that time, Ren's goal had always been to raise those others up, to break free of those chains that had they had been bound in. part of that experience had been letting people exert their autonomy in their own ways, and relinquishing control.

the fear needed to be voiced before it was rooted out. ]

It hasn't.

[ he says evenly, his brows pinching in the center. no, they had been used by everyone: Johann, whoever brought them here, the government, and now Riverstone. he wants to hear Lance out, but he wants to be heard, too. it's rare that he feels this way. ]

But we're already in danger. We always have been. If we're going to help each other, and those of us that want to help this world, we have to stand up. The right time might never come, but being afraid makes us powerless.

[ there's a pause. ]

I'm telling you this because I believe you could do a lot of good. I want you to know that.

[lifetothefullest]

[He's quiet again, watching as much as he is listening, noting the sense of conviction and getting a better idea of what probably motivated this whole incident. It isn't too unexpected, because it fits with other things that have been done or said, but the last comment catches him offguard and there's a brief moment of surprise that shows in his expression before he can control it again.

He doesn't have the right words to respond with immediately, so he stalls briefly by giving a small nod and letting his expression and posture show less tension, fading a bit out of the purposefully casual countenance he'd decided to work with initially.]

That's... Good to know. Thank you.

[And that said, he takes a deep breath and continues more honestly--]

I understand wanting to do something, and I don't disagree with you on that, so I feel like I should make it clear that I'm not advocating for doing nothing at all times. My concerns aren't academic, they're from experience; I've made both the right and the wrong calls in how to handle these sorts of situations, and then had to deal with the results of those choices.

[And those outcomes have been incredibly wide-ranging, with the repercussions of mistakes being incredibly high. When it's just himself then that's his own problem, but in a situation like this--and those at Hadriel, and many at home--a wrong move has an impact on everyone.]

Knowing when and how to make a move is just as important as deciding to make it. So I should also say directly that I don't necessarily disagree with what you and the others did, but more how it was done.

[variate]

I did something I thought was right and I'll take responsibility for it, I'm not interested in more talk. [ he had tried that—desperately. there's a little shake of his head. ] If you want to help next time, I'd value your input.

[ he knows there's some harshness to his language, but he doesn't sound accusatory. while Lance has certainly earned the label of adult, Ren knows better than anyone that there are certain things that shape you. maybe his own desperation to do something and keep himself and others from being used had shaped him. there have been a lot of things he did that were against people's more cautionary inclinations. ]

[lifetothefullest]

Isn't part of taking responsibility being accountable for it?

[Not that he's super interested in the idea of talking about it that much either--as he'd told Kyna, it's already done and therefore it's a lot more important to focus on what to do now, not what should've been done then--but this does seem like an important point to make. Considering how this entire conversation started, the idea of taking responsibility for something but then being unwilling to discuss it are completely at odds.

But likewise, it isn't accusatory, just a comment, and he moves on.]

Sure, I'd like to help.

[But also--]

Kyna told me that you were hesitant to tell anyone about this out of concern that someone would try to stop you; I'm not going to do that, especially not in a way that might put you or anyone else at risk. If I think you have a terrible plan I'll say that, but in terms of something like tipping off Riverstone, that won't happen.

[He might disagree with someone's choices, but he's not going to try to stop them in a way that's dangerous to them, provided the choice isn't something like murder. He'd disagreed with Rey's decision too, but it was her right to make it and so what he could do was try to help her do go through with it in the safest way possible.]

[variate]

[ Ren leaves it be, but it is a very adult thing. he's truthful in where his interests lie with it, and they're not in whatever Lance's version of accountability might fall into lecturing. in this case, he felt accountable to Kyna, and this was his means of making it right.

it was action that he held to his own basis of morals, but he doesn't press it on others. they all come from different places, different worlds, and in each one they're all different in the way that they feel certain actions need to be taken. ]

I'm not asking you to standby. [ he's quiet for a moment, but it's a sort of thoughtful pause. ] Being a traitor and confronting someone with your own belief are different.

[ actually. ]

I want to know what that conviction means to you.

[ it almost feels like it's buried somewhere, subdued. ]