lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox

[He's definitely made his point, and she feels a sudden rush of guilt.]

I wasn't— I wasn't thinking of it as low-stakes.

[She thought Ren's idea would help, but he's right, isn't he?]

I'm sure you weren't, but I doubt you were thinking of it as high-stakes either.

[But he can, again, tell that he's made his point here, and at least she seems to care.]

But like I said, it's done, so now we all need to be prepared to deal with what might come out of it. The others need to know what you found out, and that there's a potential problem with Riverstone.

Okay.

[It's not like she wasn't planning on doing that anyway, so that doesn't throw her so much. What's tangling her up right now is that he seems so deeply disappointed in her.]

You think I'm a total idiot, don't you?

I think you should've put more thought into your decision.

[But that isn't the same thing as being an idiot. Being an idiot is far more simple; he's so disappointed because he knows she isn't stupid, or careless, or ignorant. She's none of those things, but chose to make a decision like this anyway.]

I'm sorry.

[She says it again, softer this time, because she doesn't know what else to say.]

[He knows she means it, and at this point he thinks she understands why he's upset; even though she still doesn't actually owe him an apology specifically, this time he decides not to say that.]

I know. It's okay.

[Making her feel guilty isn't going to help, and although he's genuinely frustrated with her actions, it's part of a greater issue that her part of is comparatively very small. He doesn't have any reason or desire to stay upset with her.]

Okay.

[She's still not entirely sure he's not upset with her, but there isn't much she can do about that.]

You think people have been treating things like they're low-stakes?

[He shrugs again, arms still crossed, glancing off to the side.]

I think people haven't been putting the level of consideration into their choices, the situation, or really anything else that they should be, yes.

What do you think we should have done? Everyone else was just... Saying we should wait and see what Riverstone did. What if it's too late by then?

What if it was too late in what way? What were you concerned was going to happen if we waited?

None of us knew what they actually wanted, and the plan was just to wait and see what happened. If they were actually looking to do something with our DNA or something, we'd be fucked. They'd already have it, and we wouldn't know until it came back to bite us.

Isn't that the case now though? You didn't stop anyone from taking part in the tests.

We know that's not what they're doing, right? And if it were, at least we'd know and be able to plan instead of just... arguing about what ifs for weeks on the network.

Do you really think anyone here is going to plan anything?

[The slightly scathing tone isn't directed at her, and that's hopefully clear by that his expression doesn't shift with the statement as it would if he were directing a comment like that at her.

But that said--]

I mean, knowing is something valuable, yes. It's just a matter of whether it's valuable enough to outweigh the risk and potential consequences, and it's too early to say that for sure.

[Kyna deflates, looking away again. She could argue that clearly there are some people who want to plan, like the group she worked with and Ian, but it doesn't feel like there's a point.]

I guess not.

[He frowns a little at that response, and more specifically at her reaction itself, trying to read what exactly prompted it. After a moment, he shifts topics slightly and decides to ask--]

You said you didn't tell anyone because Ren said not to, but why did he think you shouldn't and why did you agree?

Ren said that with that whole Judas deal, people were actively trying to sabotage each other. Like, really trying to fuck each other over. He was afraid that would happen again, you know? That if we came to everyone or word got out, someone would try to screw us over or make their own deal or something, and we'd get hurt.

[Which is the main thing, she thinks. She could tell that mess really stuck with Ren from the way he talked about it.]

Plus, he thinks the same thing you do—no one ever wants to plan, they just want to argue, and no one actually does anything.

[The general sentiment of that--that someone might tip off Riverstone--is what he expected, but there are details there that he didn't know. He furrows his eyebrows again and tilts his head, mentally putting some pieces together.]

I remember seeing a strange post by Stephen that I think was about the Judas situation, saying that he'd tipped off the UNA about something the Displaced were doing? I wasn't sure of the context.

[But he's guessing that might be one of things she's talking about, or she'll correct him. He doesn't remember seeing anything else in specific, but he'd only been able to look at the network; he wouldn't be surprised if people might've caused more problems in person.

So that makes sense, and also puts some things together for him as far as Ren's attitude in general, and he shifts on his feet idly.]

I'd counter by saying that not telling anyone who might disagree means it's very difficult to consider the potential ways it could go wrong, but then again I get that sometimes the other risks outweigh that benefit.

[And so he can see why they would've all kept this secret. He still doesn't like it on principle, because he thinks at least one of them should've considered this plan to be too much of a risk to everyone else to just go through with it anyway, but that's a separate issue.]

Yeah, that post. And Ren and Akechi don't trust Rey.

[Which is obvious, she thinks.]

Plus, it's not like Rey wanted to listen to us.

She didn't, but she also said the same thing we've been talking about: she wanted to do something, rather than talk about it and let the opportunity pass by.

[And although Lance doesn't agree with her choice either--and it also put the Displaced at risk, just like Kyna and Ren's group had--it's still fair to remember why Rey did what she did.

And speaking of that, and of Stephen too--]

I actually had a brief discussion with Stephen about how it would be better to prevent people from feeling like they have to task drastic action by trying to make more progress in general, but it basically came down to 'we don't have time for that'.

[And again, the priorities here seem very... Skewed, for many people, not just Stephen.]

[It's true. In a weird way, Kyna respects Rey's decision to do something more than the people who haven't done anything at all. She scoffs at the comment about Stephen, though.]

So he doesn't care?

He started talking about funding.

[And okay, it might be being a little unfair to put it this way without context, but it's still true.]

Wait, funding for what?

Funding for a team of people who can devote their time and energy to working on following leads, coming up with projects, that sort of thing instead of also having to worry about having jobs.

[She squints at him.]

Having a team of people isn't going to make everyone feel less cornered.

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