[He's just going to give her a moment to see if she decides to elaborate unprompted; he has maybe a guess at what she means, but still would rather not influence her response especially if he's wrong.]
[He can't help it that his immediate reaction is defensive, but that's more a reflex than anything else and it's in direct contrast to that this was--more or less anyway--the answer he's expecting. It's not the first time he's heard that criticism, and although he's usually pretty good at avoiding behavior he's been made aware of he's also well aware that he hasn't exactly been on top of that sort of thing lately.
So he takes a moment to be sure he can respond that way he means to, finally shoving his hands in his pockets and sighing again.]
[It isn't accusatory, just uncertain. If she was expecting him to be upset but not to react that way he did, what alternative had she been predicting?]
Anger isn't usually an emotion that exists on its own, at least not solely; it's usually an expression of something else, at its core. Frustration or injustice are pretty common underlying causes, but so are disappointment, fear, and a variety of other emotions that can be manifested as anger or in their more direct forms.
[He offers another small shrug.]
Anger in its traditional form has its uses, but none of them apply in this situation and I'm not a huge proponent of being angry if you don't have to.
[She stares at him for a long moment, then scoffs. It's such a distanced, impersonal response that it raises her hackles instantly. And here she thought she was the one bad at talking about emotions.]
[Okay, fine, it was psychology speech but it was also true. He rolls his eyes at that response, crossing his arms again.]
You said you expected me to be angry; I was angry, because I was disappointed, but I might as well just skip right to that part without all the rest of it.
[He hesitates a few more moments at that, then sighs.]
It's still better to get to the actual issue, though.
[Instead of just yelling and all the other things that go into be angry. Skipping right to the talking part doesn't feel great, but it's better than the alternative.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:11 am (UTC)I hope the experience hasn't scared you off of telling anyone else.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:12 am (UTC)Um... maybe a little.
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Date: 2020-11-01 12:15 am (UTC)You expected that I wouldn't exactly be happy about this, right?
[Considering how she'd approached the conversation and all.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:19 am (UTC)[She gestures vaguely.]
You know.
[Which is a very helpful response.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:25 am (UTC)God, okay, don't get mad. Just...
[How does she say this? Before she even opens her mouth again, she's wincing, but she spits it out anyway.]
Dismissive? Kind of condescending?
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 12:33 am (UTC)So he takes a moment to be sure he can respond that way he means to, finally shoving his hands in his pockets and sighing again.]
I can't exactly argue with that.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:06 am (UTC)I didn't expect you to be disappointed, either.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:08 am (UTC)[It isn't accusatory, just uncertain. If she was expecting him to be upset but not to react that way he did, what alternative had she been predicting?]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:18 am (UTC)[He offers another small shrug.]
Anger in its traditional form has its uses, but none of them apply in this situation and I'm not a huge proponent of being angry if you don't have to.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:21 am (UTC)If I want a psych 101 lesson, I'll ask.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 01:26 am (UTC)You said you expected me to be angry; I was angry, because I was disappointed, but I might as well just skip right to that part without all the rest of it.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 02:52 am (UTC)Maybe, but I wouldn't have.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 03:00 am (UTC)Look, my brother does that. The disappointed thing. It reminded me of that.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-01 03:31 am (UTC)I don't have any siblings, so I don't exactly know that that's like, but I mean... I know it sucks from friends.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-02 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-02 06:33 am (UTC)It's still better to get to the actual issue, though.
[Instead of just yelling and all the other things that go into be angry. Skipping right to the talking part doesn't feel great, but it's better than the alternative.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-07 10:34 pm (UTC)[She just hates it. She deals better with anger than disappointment.]
Um, we don't have to eat together if you don't want. It's all yours.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-08 07:08 am (UTC)That just sounds depressing for both of us. Come on.
[He inclines his head toward the table, indicating they should both go to it.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-09 05:21 pm (UTC)[She's trying to joke. It sounds like a joke, right?]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-09 05:26 pm (UTC)[He can tell she's trying to lighten the mood and is doing the same, making a show of rolling his eyes with the comment.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-09 05:34 pm (UTC)At least we're both cute.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-10 02:23 am (UTC)[He takes his seat the table, trying to summon his appetite again; the food does look really good.]
(no subject)
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