[Totally normal and not suspicious in the slightest.]
Although neither was a particular area of focus for me, I'm well-versed in the subjects both from psychological counseling and criminal profiling standpoints.
[Basically he knows more than most people, but less than specialized experts.]
[He could continue with more imprecise story, phrase the questions he wants to ask in hypotheticals and as a subject removed, but he suspects that won't hold up for long under questioning, and frankly, Mello is tired of how ineffective things are in this place. It will be a gamble to be direct, but he has never shied away from taking risks if the payoff is worth it.]
Mine, to be exact. It has come to my attention that certain parties are of the opinion that my upbringing was cultish and harmful and may have left me brainwashed, and I'd like to prove them wrong.
I trust that anything I would disclose would remain confidential, of course.
[Okay, he's definitely curious now, but also concerned.]
Of course; anything you say will remain between us unless you give permission otherwise, or if there is immediate and pressing reason to believe there is an immediate danger to you or someone else.
[The standard caveats there, but he's mentioning them because he isn't sure if Mello's aware or not.]
I should also tell you upfront that this is a particularly complicated subject, and there may not be a clear yes or no answers in regards to the situation.
[There may not be any definitive way to 'prove them wrong', and that's assuming whoever they are are wrong.]
[Nothing of what Mello intends to reveal about his childhood should fall under those categories, and he's aware of the professional standard of confidentiality, which is why he even considered doing this.]
I don't expect it to be simple. But it has been posited that I am not objective enough to make this assessment myself, and everyone else I've trusted enough to tell about my past is too close to the subject matter to offer an unbiased opinion.
[There's a slight delay as Lance thinks it over, because it's taking a risk--especially in this place--to go to someone's home that he doesn't know particularly well, especially here. But he doesn't think Mello means him any harm, and now that Lance is pretty much healed he's slightly less nervous about whether he'd be able to defend himself, so eventually he decides to agree.]
[It's good that Lance doesn't immediately agree - it most likely means he's considering the risks, which is smart. Mello has no intention of harming him, but he has made Lance aware that he is capable of killing, when he feels it's necessary.]
The number 7 house in the cluster that's half underground. Whenever it's convenient for you.
[And because he does understand basic courtesy, he adds:]
[That's one of the things that makes Lance concerned, even though he doesn't believe Mello intends any harm; counseling sessions can sometimes get emotional or heated, especially with the kind of topic they'll be discussing, and so there's a risk that things might go badly at the time even if Mello doesn't intend anything going into it. But Lance is willing to take the risk on this, although he'll be cautious about it.
And Lance is up and awake at the moment anyway, so--]
Alright, I know where those are. I'm not doing anything now, if this time works for you?
[He needs to look at least somewhat professional, and probably should get a snack or something.
But half an hour later, as promised, he knocks on the door; he looks tired but otherwise pretty put together, and even bothered with a suit again. He's also carrying his gun, just in case, but it's hidden by the hem of his suit jacket.]
[Mello, on the other hand, makes no effort to dress differently to meet with Lance. He's not a slob by any means, just wearing casual clothes, dark jeans and a loose-fitting plain black shirt, the rosary as always around his neck, tired eyes and somber expression underneath mildly mussed blond hair that's half fallen over his scarred face. He answers the door barefoot, a knife hidden under his shirt, tucked into the waistband of his jeans at his back. He doesn't expect trouble, but he also doesn't trust easily, and this house is only as safe as he can make it - mostly by limiting the number of people who know where he stays. He's extended a measure of trust in asking Lance over, but it's incomplete and tentative.]
Dr. Sweets.
[He gives him an acknowledging nod and steps back, opening the door wider to allow him to enter, and scoops up the black cat chirping curiously at his feet. The cat meows in protest but settles easily into the crook of his arm, all three differently colored eyes watching Lance alertly.]
[Lance nods and steps in, subtly but still carefully avoiding turning away from Mello as he does so, although his attention is a little distraction from caution by the sight of the cat. It's a weird little thing, but it's also oddly cute and Lance has always liked animals, even if he's never had any.
But there's a reason he's here, and he casts a brief, appraising look around what he can see of the house from here; there's a lot to be learned about someone by what they do with their home. He turns his attention back to Mello quickly enough, though.]
It's nice to meet you in person.
[In what isn't a fake alternate reality, where he'd occasionally seen Mello--or was it Michael, there?--due to knowing Brennan.]
[What Lance will learn about the house from a visual assessment is that it's sparsely furnished and there have been no efforts made to decorate or personalize the space - it is almost exactly as Mello found it. He has not lived here for very long, and he isn't emotionally attached to it. He is accustomed to keeping on the move, to the spaces where he settles being temporary, and even though he has lived in Hadriel for more than a year, that is still very much his mindset.
He closes the door behind Lance, noting his body language (as he was trained to do as a child), turns the locks, and sets the cat down on the floor again. The cat cautiously approaches Lance with a questioning trill, sniffing at his shoe.]
Katze, behave. [To Lance, briskly:] You as well. I appreciate your assistance with this matter. Kitchen?
[The lack of furnishing is interesting, although he isn't completely sure how much to read into it; his own apartment is not particularly furnished either due to a combination of lack of options in Hadriel and being unable to really lift anything for the first few months. But it's worth noting, all the same, even if his attention is soon caught instead by Mello shutting and locking the door.
It's not like the action is weird or out of place but it does make him slightly nervous, although the weird-cute cat coming over to him helps a little with that.]
Hello.
[He tells the cat gently, though he doesn't reach down toward it; he doesn't want to scare it. He glances back up at Mello, nodding in agreement and waiting for him to lead the way toward the kitchen.]
'Katze' is German, right?
[He's pretty sure it means cat in German, although he doesn't remember where he picked up that knowledge. Surely from a book somewhere.]
[The cat mrows back at Lance's greeting, rubs his cheek on his ankle, and trots off, satisfied. Mello nods and takes lead in walking toward the kitchen. He can understand Lance's wariness better than most, and though he continues the conversation while walking, he remains alert, out of habit.]
That's right. [And, before Lance can ask, he adds:] German is one of many languages I studied as part of my education - which I know was a bit unorthodox, but I think it's a stretch to call it brainwashing, or to describe it as cultish.
[But that's why Lance is here, after all. Once they reach the kitchen Mello gestures toward the table and chairs in the center, as oddly shaped but serviceable as all the furniture in Hadriel tends to be.]
Before we start, would you like a glass of water? I don't have much else here ... I don't do much social entertaining.
I didn't exactly have the most normal education either, so I'd hesitate to judge on that alone.
[In other words he doesn't think it's too strange just from that, following Mello into the kitchen; the weird Hadriel furniture is familiar and a little comforting at this point, especially since he spends a lot of time--for various reasons--talking to people in kitchens here. So he takes a seat, shaking his head a little at the question.]
I'm fine, thank you.
[He's here on a professional call anyway, so Mello really doesn't need to worry about the social stuff.]
Is there anything you wanted to ask or had concerns about, before we get into the actual issue?
[Learning multiple languages is probably the most normal activity from the Wammy's House educational system, so that facet is not necessarily the best representation of its unusualness. Mello takes out a glass from the cabinet for himself and fills it from the tap, then sets it down on the table in front of the chair that he turns sideways and sits down in, one arm wrapped around the top of the chair's back. He silently considers the question for a moment, mouth pressed into a thin line, fingertip slowly tracing the lip of the glass. Finally, he shakes his head.]
My only concern is confidentiality, and I think you'll understand why once I get into the details. But you've already covered that, and I believe you to be a professional, just as I believe myself to be a good judge of character.
[So, in other words, he believes Lance will keep what Mello tells him to himself. There are only two people left from Mello's world here in Hadriel other than himself, and only one of them might be considered a threat to the other, but old paranoid habits die hard. Preparing to disclose what he intends to goes against everything Mello was ever trained for. He inhales a slow, deep breath, and begins.]
I told you before when we spoke about the Guard that I was trained from the age of seven to solve crimes, and that's true, though not the entire story. Some people, hearing that, might assume that solving crimes was a family business, to explain my involvement from such a young age, but that's not the case. I have no family - I'm an orphan, you see, and I have been since my mother died, when I was five years old.
[He pauses, expression pinched at the too-recent memory of his mother's reappearance here, the joy seeing her again brought him, the pain losing her a second time caused. He takes a sip of water, pushes his feelings aside, and focuses on continuing his story.]
Since I had no other family to take me in, I was sent to a Church-run orphanage, where I lived for the next two years, and I hated every day of it. [Interesting, perhaps, that he chooses to wear a rosary, then.] One day, though, I was approached about taking a series of tests, which I agreed to, mostly because it got me out of the class taught by the sister I disliked the most. [He half-smiles, thinking about what an impact that one small decision motivated by simple enmity ended up having on his life.] I scored very highly on those tests. It may be an oversimplification to put it in these terms, but the results said that I was a genius.
[He doesn't say this with any sense of boasting - it's merely factual. Mello glances up to Lance, gauging his reaction to what he says.]
[Lance nods once in confirmation at Mello's response to his own comment, both in agreement and understanding; he takes his job very seriously, and has no intention of anything Mello tells him leaving this room without permission otherwise.
He sits up straight, listening silently as Mello begins to explain, and it's difficult not to immediately draw some parallels. That, combined with the way Mello speaks and his expressions, makes it easy for Lance to understand the progression from place to place and the kind of motivation a child would have to get themselves out of a bad situation when given the chance. That motivation--or desperation--makes them an easy target, which is something commonly exploited.
But he's reserving judgement on that just yet, although combined with the entire reason Mello wanted to speak with him in the first place and the being trained to solve crimes doesn't exactly paint a promising picture.
His expression is carefully neutral, as it usually is when he's listening to someone get things out at the beginning of a session, not wanting to influence their story in any way or discourage them from continuing. So when Mello looks at him he just nods in understanding and an indication to continue if he wants to.]
[Mello returns the nod, and continues; as he talks, he slowly twists the glass a half-circle clockwise, then counter-clockwise, then back again.]
I was approached about transferring to a different institution, one that was designed for children like me, orphans with brilliant minds, collected from all corners of the globe. Naturally, I accepted. I didn't entirely understand what I was accepting until I got there, but what I was told sounded a hell of a lot better than staying where I was.
[Katze jumps up on the table, nearly soundless, and Mello reaches out to scratch underneath his chin. The cat purrs loudly.]
It wasn't just another orphanage, of course. It was also a training program of sorts. The man who founded it was an inventor, and what he invented in founding that institution was a replication program for one very specific person - the single greatest detective of the century, a man known as L. He was recorded to have solved more than 3,500 difficult crimes in his time, and he never once showed his face publicly. He had the respect of every major law enforcement organization across the globe, and it's not an exaggeration to say that his death would have sent crime rates around the world skyrocketing, under normal circumstances. It's no wonder, then, that an inventor looked at him and wanted to make a copy.
[Well, it's starting to sound kind of like a cult now.
If it weren't in some sort of attempt to emulate a particular individual it might've appeared more like a special private school, but the way Mello's describing it makes it sound a whole lot more like some person--this inventor--had an obsession with this L and wanted to create his own version. Not only that, but he apparently decided to use children who were in positions to be manipulated in order to do so.
SO Lance's opinion of this entire subject is definitely moving toward being incredibly sketchy at best and downright malicious at worst, but he's still trying to stay neutral for now and again nods for Mello to continue.]
[The cat settles onto his side, stretched out, tail twitching contentedly while Mello rubs his ears.]
Obviously, this program had a period of refinement. I was from the fourth generation of potential successors at this institution, but the first class had some fairly spectacular disasters - one boy cracked under the pressure and committed suicide, and the second became a serial murderer.
[He also happens to be in Hadriel right now, but that's something Mello will keep to himself for the moment. Beyond's story is of personal significance to Mello and helped shaped the path he took over the five years before he was brought to Hadriel, and he may yet discuss it with Lance, if the conversations turns toward it, but it's not an immediately salient detail.]
But I did well in this program, though I wasn't the best. [His expression hardens slightly at the admission. He's had more than a year away from his world and even reached a kind of resolution in forging an alliance with Near, while he was here, but the feeling that he will never quite be good enough is a persistent sting, woven into the very fabric of his being.] There was another boy called Near, and I always came second to him, no matter how hard I worked and studied. At any rate, Near and I were said to have come the closest to following in L's footsteps - Near more so than me, I think.
[It's sad but not surprising to hear about the results of the early class of children; those are both, unfortunately, potential outcomes of putting high risk kids into a situation like that.
And he understands the hints of Mello's competitiveness and need to be the best, because they're just as expected. When success and making yourself stand out as best at something are your keys to improving your life, it's easy for it to become an obsession. That's partially why Lance excelled so much in school in himself; although no longer in the situation he'd been in, overachieving had been a way to prove--even though he knows, looking back, it wasn't necessary--that his parents hadn't made a mistake in adopting him.
He pulls himself from his thoughts, nodding again at Mello's words, still following along with the story well enough but not wanting to ask any questions until Mello's totally finished.]
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timeasmymeasure
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 05:44 pm (UTC)Although neither was a particular area of focus for me, I'm well-versed in the subjects both from psychological counseling and criminal profiling standpoints.
[Basically he knows more than most people, but less than specialized experts.]
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 05:47 pm (UTC)I'd like to employ your professional opinion on a case study.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 05:49 pm (UTC)What sort of case study?
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 06:01 pm (UTC)Mine, to be exact. It has come to my attention that certain parties are of the opinion that my upbringing was cultish and harmful and may have left me brainwashed, and I'd like to prove them wrong.
I trust that anything I would disclose would remain confidential, of course.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 06:07 pm (UTC)Of course; anything you say will remain between us unless you give permission otherwise, or if there is immediate and pressing reason to believe there is an immediate danger to you or someone else.
[The standard caveats there, but he's mentioning them because he isn't sure if Mello's aware or not.]
I should also tell you upfront that this is a particularly complicated subject, and there may not be a clear yes or no answers in regards to the situation.
[There may not be any definitive way to 'prove them wrong', and that's assuming whoever they are are wrong.]
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 06:36 pm (UTC)[Nothing of what Mello intends to reveal about his childhood should fall under those categories, and he's aware of the professional standard of confidentiality, which is why he even considered doing this.]
I don't expect it to be simple. But it has been posited that I am not objective enough to make this assessment myself, and everyone else I've trusted enough to tell about my past is too close to the subject matter to offer an unbiased opinion.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 06:52 pm (UTC)[Which he definitely thinks they should do to talk about this; text loses a lot of subtlety.]
I have an office at the Clinic, but we could meet somewhere else if you prefer.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 07:02 pm (UTC)Would you be opposed to making a house call?
[Mello is reasonable satisfied with the security of his own space, since it's something over which he has a measure of control.]
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 07:06 pm (UTC)That would be fine.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 07:21 pm (UTC)The number 7 house in the cluster that's half underground. Whenever it's convenient for you.
[And because he does understand basic courtesy, he adds:]
Thank you.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 07:38 pm (UTC)And Lance is up and awake at the moment anyway, so--]
Alright, I know where those are. I'm not doing anything now, if this time works for you?
You're welcome.
text.
Date: 2017-08-04 07:52 pm (UTC)[No time like the present, really.]
text --> action
Date: 2017-08-04 08:09 pm (UTC)[He needs to look at least somewhat professional, and probably should get a snack or something.
But half an hour later, as promised, he knocks on the door; he looks tired but otherwise pretty put together, and even bothered with a suit again. He's also carrying his gun, just in case, but it's hidden by the hem of his suit jacket.]
action
Date: 2017-08-04 09:26 pm (UTC)Dr. Sweets.
[He gives him an acknowledging nod and steps back, opening the door wider to allow him to enter, and scoops up the black cat chirping curiously at his feet. The cat meows in protest but settles easily into the crook of his arm, all three differently colored eyes watching Lance alertly.]
Will you come in?
action
Date: 2017-08-04 09:36 pm (UTC)But there's a reason he's here, and he casts a brief, appraising look around what he can see of the house from here; there's a lot to be learned about someone by what they do with their home. He turns his attention back to Mello quickly enough, though.]
It's nice to meet you in person.
[In what isn't a fake alternate reality, where he'd occasionally seen Mello--or was it Michael, there?--due to knowing Brennan.]
no subject
Date: 2017-08-05 09:19 pm (UTC)He closes the door behind Lance, noting his body language (as he was trained to do as a child), turns the locks, and sets the cat down on the floor again. The cat cautiously approaches Lance with a questioning trill, sniffing at his shoe.]
Katze, behave. [To Lance, briskly:] You as well. I appreciate your assistance with this matter. Kitchen?
no subject
Date: 2017-08-05 09:32 pm (UTC)It's not like the action is weird or out of place but it does make him slightly nervous, although the weird-cute cat coming over to him helps a little with that.]
Hello.
[He tells the cat gently, though he doesn't reach down toward it; he doesn't want to scare it. He glances back up at Mello, nodding in agreement and waiting for him to lead the way toward the kitchen.]
'Katze' is German, right?
[He's pretty sure it means cat in German, although he doesn't remember where he picked up that knowledge. Surely from a book somewhere.]
no subject
Date: 2017-08-06 08:37 pm (UTC)That's right. [And, before Lance can ask, he adds:] German is one of many languages I studied as part of my education - which I know was a bit unorthodox, but I think it's a stretch to call it brainwashing, or to describe it as cultish.
[But that's why Lance is here, after all. Once they reach the kitchen Mello gestures toward the table and chairs in the center, as oddly shaped but serviceable as all the furniture in Hadriel tends to be.]
Before we start, would you like a glass of water? I don't have much else here ... I don't do much social entertaining.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-06 08:51 pm (UTC)[In other words he doesn't think it's too strange just from that, following Mello into the kitchen; the weird Hadriel furniture is familiar and a little comforting at this point, especially since he spends a lot of time--for various reasons--talking to people in kitchens here. So he takes a seat, shaking his head a little at the question.]
I'm fine, thank you.
[He's here on a professional call anyway, so Mello really doesn't need to worry about the social stuff.]
Is there anything you wanted to ask or had concerns about, before we get into the actual issue?
no subject
Date: 2017-08-07 12:07 am (UTC)My only concern is confidentiality, and I think you'll understand why once I get into the details. But you've already covered that, and I believe you to be a professional, just as I believe myself to be a good judge of character.
[So, in other words, he believes Lance will keep what Mello tells him to himself. There are only two people left from Mello's world here in Hadriel other than himself, and only one of them might be considered a threat to the other, but old paranoid habits die hard. Preparing to disclose what he intends to goes against everything Mello was ever trained for. He inhales a slow, deep breath, and begins.]
I told you before when we spoke about the Guard that I was trained from the age of seven to solve crimes, and that's true, though not the entire story. Some people, hearing that, might assume that solving crimes was a family business, to explain my involvement from such a young age, but that's not the case. I have no family - I'm an orphan, you see, and I have been since my mother died, when I was five years old.
[He pauses, expression pinched at the too-recent memory of his mother's reappearance here, the joy seeing her again brought him, the pain losing her a second time caused. He takes a sip of water, pushes his feelings aside, and focuses on continuing his story.]
Since I had no other family to take me in, I was sent to a Church-run orphanage, where I lived for the next two years, and I hated every day of it. [Interesting, perhaps, that he chooses to wear a rosary, then.] One day, though, I was approached about taking a series of tests, which I agreed to, mostly because it got me out of the class taught by the sister I disliked the most. [He half-smiles, thinking about what an impact that one small decision motivated by simple enmity ended up having on his life.] I scored very highly on those tests. It may be an oversimplification to put it in these terms, but the results said that I was a genius.
[He doesn't say this with any sense of boasting - it's merely factual. Mello glances up to Lance, gauging his reaction to what he says.]
no subject
Date: 2017-08-07 01:06 am (UTC)He sits up straight, listening silently as Mello begins to explain, and it's difficult not to immediately draw some parallels. That, combined with the way Mello speaks and his expressions, makes it easy for Lance to understand the progression from place to place and the kind of motivation a child would have to get themselves out of a bad situation when given the chance. That motivation--or desperation--makes them an easy target, which is something commonly exploited.
But he's reserving judgement on that just yet, although combined with the entire reason Mello wanted to speak with him in the first place and the being trained to solve crimes doesn't exactly paint a promising picture.
His expression is carefully neutral, as it usually is when he's listening to someone get things out at the beginning of a session, not wanting to influence their story in any way or discourage them from continuing. So when Mello looks at him he just nods in understanding and an indication to continue if he wants to.]
no subject
Date: 2017-08-07 04:08 am (UTC)I was approached about transferring to a different institution, one that was designed for children like me, orphans with brilliant minds, collected from all corners of the globe. Naturally, I accepted. I didn't entirely understand what I was accepting until I got there, but what I was told sounded a hell of a lot better than staying where I was.
[Katze jumps up on the table, nearly soundless, and Mello reaches out to scratch underneath his chin. The cat purrs loudly.]
It wasn't just another orphanage, of course. It was also a training program of sorts. The man who founded it was an inventor, and what he invented in founding that institution was a replication program for one very specific person - the single greatest detective of the century, a man known as L. He was recorded to have solved more than 3,500 difficult crimes in his time, and he never once showed his face publicly. He had the respect of every major law enforcement organization across the globe, and it's not an exaggeration to say that his death would have sent crime rates around the world skyrocketing, under normal circumstances. It's no wonder, then, that an inventor looked at him and wanted to make a copy.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-07 04:27 am (UTC)If it weren't in some sort of attempt to emulate a particular individual it might've appeared more like a special private school, but the way Mello's describing it makes it sound a whole lot more like some person--this inventor--had an obsession with this L and wanted to create his own version. Not only that, but he apparently decided to use children who were in positions to be manipulated in order to do so.
SO Lance's opinion of this entire subject is definitely moving toward being incredibly sketchy at best and downright malicious at worst, but he's still trying to stay neutral for now and again nods for Mello to continue.]
no subject
Date: 2017-08-08 03:13 pm (UTC)Obviously, this program had a period of refinement. I was from the fourth generation of potential successors at this institution, but the first class had some fairly spectacular disasters - one boy cracked under the pressure and committed suicide, and the second became a serial murderer.
[He also happens to be in Hadriel right now, but that's something Mello will keep to himself for the moment. Beyond's story is of personal significance to Mello and helped shaped the path he took over the five years before he was brought to Hadriel, and he may yet discuss it with Lance, if the conversations turns toward it, but it's not an immediately salient detail.]
But I did well in this program, though I wasn't the best. [His expression hardens slightly at the admission. He's had more than a year away from his world and even reached a kind of resolution in forging an alliance with Near, while he was here, but the feeling that he will never quite be good enough is a persistent sting, woven into the very fabric of his being.] There was another boy called Near, and I always came second to him, no matter how hard I worked and studied. At any rate, Near and I were said to have come the closest to following in L's footsteps - Near more so than me, I think.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-08 04:42 pm (UTC)And he understands the hints of Mello's competitiveness and need to be the best, because they're just as expected. When success and making yourself stand out as best at something are your keys to improving your life, it's easy for it to become an obsession. That's partially why Lance excelled so much in school in himself; although no longer in the situation he'd been in, overachieving had been a way to prove--even though he knows, looking back, it wasn't necessary--that his parents hadn't made a mistake in adopting him.
He pulls himself from his thoughts, nodding again at Mello's words, still following along with the story well enough but not wanting to ask any questions until Mello's totally finished.]
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