lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox

@lance.sweets | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

From:

[ Yeah, that's probably for the best. He can't think of anything much more awkward than having a supportive consolation session with Lance and Kyna being on the other side of the wall. ]

Send me the address. How do you feel about Tequila?

From:

lifetothefullest

I'm not picky.

{Tequila is not a normal go-to for him but he's also not going to complain, especially since Ian's doing a favor. He sends the address soon after the message.]

From:

wittingly

[ Tequila it is, then. He's got a bottle of that in one hand and a pitcher of SunnyD-an when he shows up at Lance's room. Hands full, he knocks with the neck of the bottle instead. The consolation party has arrived. ]

From:

lifetothefullest

[He checks who's at the door before opening it, out of habit more than any concern that it's someone unexpected, and lets Ian in immediately once he confirms that's who it is. Lance probably looks tired, since he's only had a few hours of sleep in the past two days or so, but also not as bad as he could look; he's found a change of clothes and washed his hair, which is now long enough to be showing that's it's curly.]

Hey. Thanks for...

[You know. Checking in and then bothering to bring him drinks and keep him company.]

From:

wittingly

[ Curly hair bros. Consider growing it out, Lance. It really helps everyone know you're from California and you smoke weed. Is that a niche aesthetic to want to have? ]

This SunnyD?

[ He finishes brightly, thunking it down onto the hotel kitchenette counter. ]

You're so welcome, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

[ With all the amused sincerity a person can have.

But no, he knows what Lance means. Same page there, buddy. ]

From:

lifetothefullest

Yes, the SunnyD.

[He says it with a faint hint of a smile and some life to his tone; although normally he might not be willing to let a serious topic be deflected, that absolutely doesn't apply when he's personally involved. It's clear Ian got the message, and so Lance is happy to talk about drinks for now instead.

He wanders over, considering the container of orange liquid.]

So you figured out the recipe?

From:

wittingly

[ It's okay, man. It doesn't take an empathy bond to get the feeling going on here. ]

Yeah, thanks to Nate's crazy power.

[ He's assuming Lance knows it by now, the two of them are closer than Ian is to either of them.

He's playing bartender too, mixing a healthy portion of tequila with his creation in a cup that he hands over. ]

I spent weeks on it. That asshole just took a drink and went, "Hm, this is missing something. Grapefruit juice?" Can you fucking believe that shit?

[ It tastes almost as good as not talking about their problems. ]

From:

lifetothefullest

That sounds about right.

[He can just imagine that conversation happening, especially with 'Nate's crazy power', as Ian had put it. He takes the offered drink, not so desperate for alcohol that he doesn't cautiously smell his strong it is, and oh wow. It's strong, especially for someone that doesn't typically go with tequila.

Oh well, he takes a drink anyway, even if his eyebrows furrow and he is definitely not totally stoic about it.]

What I can taste that isn't tequila seems like you nailed it.

From:

wittingly

[ Forgive him, Lance, he forgets what a reasonable amount of tequila taste is for normal people given that he shoots it straight so often. There's a little pleasant apology in an expressive grimace, followed by a what can you do shrug. Adjust the ratios if you gotta, he's not the type to judge. ]

Thanks. It was a passion project.

[ Mild, and with some humor. Sixty percent a joke. Honestly, toward the end he was more interested in the puzzle than the product itself. He'll cart his glass on over to the little living area, plop down on Lance's couch and cross his feet on the coffee table. ]

To be honest, I get a little obsessive when I'm trying to figure something out. Can't seem to let it go. It's a problem.

[ Not one of his faults he finds too personal or sensitive to talk about bluntly. ]

At this point I'm flirting that dangerous line near getting sick of drinking it, but it's a matter of pride.

From:

lifetothefullest

[No he's committed now!!!

He follows Ian, more as an automatic thing than entirely intentional, sinking down onto the other chair in the little living area. He probably should've chosen a cheaper hotel--the suite is absolutely not necessary--but whatever.]

I have no idea what that's like.

[It's dry, obviously a joke; Lance definitely has no idea what it's like to get obsessive about solving a problem, or anything else for that matter. It certainly isn't anything that's caused him problems in his life and he's very aware of as a flaw.

But like Ian, he finds it to be a safe flaw to talk about, because it's one that's easy to relate to and not extremely negative.]

At least you have something useful to show for it. Recreating a long gone drink is an achievement, and I wonder if there's even any patent or whatever on SunnyD anymore. You could totally revive it.

From:

wittingly

You know, I was thinking about it.

[ He muses lightly, but there's a calm levity in his tone that belies the fact that he was very much not thinking about it. Business is not his area. He's content in his field, thank you. Too much to learn, too much to catch up on, and he'd been going for his doctorate when the end of the world happened. Two years later, he finally gets the opportunity to finish that out. ]

But I think you've got plenty to show for it. You wrote the guidebook everyone's gonna be relying on for months or maybe even years. There are people that have been here long enough to get pregnant and have the baby but haven't done that. The work you put into it and the conclusions you've drawn have already propelled our understanding of the puzzle forward by leaps and bounds.

[ Another one of his qualities: Ian has absolutely no problem sincerely praising someone, nor expressing things he likes about them.

So long as, you know, it's not on a deep personal level. ]

If you're not the one that puts it all together, you're at least gonna be responsible for helping whoever does.

From:

lifetothefullest

[Lance is absolutely not drunk enough yet to deal with unexpected compliments, especially not ones that nice and sincere, without blushing a bit and being clearly a little flustered. He'll claim he doesn't need approval--and to an extent that's very true--and is used to not getting it, so when it's given it's usually totally unexpected and really means a lot.

That's even more so at the moment, when his self-esteem is even lower than usual, so he fidgets a little with tapping his fingers on his glass and glancing away for a few seconds before he can figure out how to reply.]

Thank you. I... Appreciate that.

[But even he can tell how lame that sounds, and he decides to elaborate a little.]

I just... Some people here don't have time to wait and risk being randomly sent home. I don't care who solves this whole thing, just that someone does, and that they do it fast enough that the people for whom this isn't just a vacation have a chance to control what happens to them.

[And some of that is selfish, because that's the same position Lance is in, but it's not just him. It's Nate, it's other people he's seen mention their deaths on the network, it's those like Ian whose worlds are horrible places to return to. All of these people deserve a future.]

From:

wittingly

[ Yeah, he's starting to understand another fragment on why Lance and Nate get along so well. ]

Member of the dead people club.

[ He acknowledges sagely, raising his glass in a kind of toast. ]

What's your deal, man? The pre-hadriel Lance baggage. Dying planet or dying brain?

[ It's an extremely grim topic, but you wouldn't guess that by the looseness of his tone. Light, like they're talking about the weather. ]

From:

lifetothefullest

[He probably should've known better than to think he could get away with it, but whether because he's not thinking the most clearly at the moment due to everything going on or just because of the alcohol, he's caught off guard.

So Lance is stunned into silence for a moment, and then is silent even longer as he tries to decide how to respond. He could lie, or deflect, and probably be very convincing about how he's worried about others and doesn't have anything to do with it; the first part is true, after all, just not the last. But he's also tired, and doesn't care to lie, and this is a secret he's kept with few exceptions for over two years now.

So, finally, gaze fixed off to the side and with a forced casual tone--]

I was murdered during an investigation. I haven't... I was still alive, but I know from people from my world who arrived in Hadriel that I didn't make it.

[Not that he'd needed the confirmation. He'd known, in that deep intuitive way that's hard to explain.]

From:

wittingly

[ Apologies, Lance. Nobody's that passionate about the issue unless they've got a deeply personal stake in it. It's not a huge leap to make.

A good portion of the levity is replaced with gentle sincerity. ]

I'm sorry. I can't say I know the feeling exactly, but I think I've got a good offshoot of it. Having that over your head sucks enough already without the accusation that you're not doing enough. Tack on all the shit you've been given lately just trying to figure it all out, and you have every reason to feel strained at the edges.

From:

lifetothefullest

[He's quiet again at that, expression still closed off and his gaze fixed on the wall, but he manages to drag it away long enough to make brief eye contact.]

Thank you.

[He really means it, and manages to even find a faint hint of humor as he continues.]

Believe it or not I'm usually... Better... At handling these sorts of things.

[He's very aware of what a disaster he is at the moment, and the more time goes on the more he's inclined to believe that it's his own fault everything has gone so rapidly downhill. That makes the reassurance means even more than it would've, because it says that maybe he has a right to be feeling like this, and he isn't just utterly failing at everything going on.]

It's just... A lot, right now, I guess. So it's nice to know not everything thinks I've just lost it.

[Even if he might have a little. But that all said--]

And I can't remember if I said it last time, but... I'm sorry about your world, and your situation. I can't imagine having to face not just what's happening there, but knowing it's your entire world at stake.

[Even though Lance knows he died, he also knows his friends and his girlfriend and his son are going to be fine. It would be so much worse not to have that, and then to expand it to everyone is just unimaginable.]

From:

wittingly

[ I'm usually better at handling these sorts of things earns Lance a reassuring little shoulder grip there, with his arm crossing the distance and his hand very carefully on sleeve-only terms. It's short, nothing huge, he's just a tactile guy. It falls away, and he settles more deliberately down into a comfortable half-slump on the couch.

His apology earns a blithe smile and shrug. ]

Thanks, man. I don't know if at stake is really the right term for it, that kind of implies there's an alternative where we win.

[ He shakes his head, light and amused — on the surface. Deep down in there somewhere is a little accent mark of cynicism or darkness, easy for most people to miss. Maybe unless they're in Lance's line of work, kind of a toss-up then.

He carries on just as casually, conversationally. ]

A ton of these guys... I think they're from places that are like... movies. Books, you know? You have the right plucky attitude or determination, you get some... deus ex machina or a triumphant montage and you overcome obstacles. That's not reality. Not my reality, anyway. No heros, no plans, just... winding down the clock. End not with a bang or whatever, you know?

From:

lifetothefullest

[Lance isn't typically big on physical contact, but he doesn't mind the gesture this time; it's kind of nice, really, and he'll take all the reassurance he can get at this point.

He's quiet as Ian continues, watching him and reading between the lines as expected, even if he's slightly less sharp from the effects of the alcohol and everything else that's happened the past few--or more like one and a half?--days.

He's naturally optimistic, underneath his pragmatism, and so he wants to offer Ian the the advice that nothing's truly over until it's over; things do change, even in the more dire situations, and it could still happen. But he also doesn't want to just completely ignore the sentiment Ian is sharing, and so he decides to save the optimism for later. Sometimes you just want to drink and be a little sad about things.]

It's worse when it's so drawn out, at least in some sense. Having to just watch and wait.

[He doesn't have the experience on the grand, all-encompassing scale that exists in Ian's world, but he's had enough other experiences to at least know what he's talking about. Being in a situation in which you can't really do anything but just survive day to day, knowing what the likely end will be and that you're just moving closer and closer to it, is a terrible experience.]

I think you're right, about the people here; some of them, anyway. My world is pretty... Normal, I guess? We make our own meanings, and find our own purposes, but we're all just... No one's more special than anyone else. The murders we investigate, those people who died, they're just people and no better or worse than people who are still alive.

[There are people that are heroes through their own actions, but that's something self-made; they aren't destined, or chosen, or somehow greater or more special than the people who don't make it. It surely isn't everyone here, but it definitely feels like there at least some who are used to things just falling into place for them in the end because that's the way their world works.]

From:

wittingly

[ Ian used to be an optimist, he really did. Opting for that whole you get what you put into the universe mindset, nothing being completely unattainable if you tried. He didn't lose it as soon as the ships touched down, no, he was one of the stupid people saying shit like maybe we can communicate and then nuclear bombs. Six weeks in, it wasn't the aliens that made him lose hope. It was other people.

Story for another time. ]

Must've been a big fucking adjustment.

[ Observed kindly, lifting his glass an inch or two in acknowledgment. ]

Going from that to... whatever it was like in Hadriel.

From:

lifetothefullest

I thought I was hallucinating for most of the first month, so that helped.

[Which is true, though in actuality he also doesn't remember most of his first month in Hadriel; he remembers some conversations, meeting a few people, and some scattered pieces in between but overall it's mostly incredibly hazy. He knows some part of it had been shock and the rest was just blocked out, which is usually not the best thing but it did help in the particular topic at hand.]

But it was definitely an adjustment. What about you, coming here? This seems a little more like 'normal' life than Hadriel was, but it's still a big change even if just for the magic and alternate universes thing.

From:

wittingly

[ The question earns Lance a nice wide smile. ]

I woke up fucking stoked to be here.

[ With absurdly chill enthusiasm. The first hour had been hard, confusing, he'd been convinced they needed to get the fuck out of that warehouse because the metal was practically a beacon.

Once he figured out where and when he was? ]

Don't get me wrong, the hovercars were an adjustment, but I'd seriously have given up a kidney to see a taco truck and take a shower in something other than lake water.

From:

lifetothefullest

[Okay, that reaction gives Lance pause for only a moment before he can't help but laugh, taking another sip of his drink.]

Ephemera brought me eggrolls in the safehouse and I think I gave him the impression I'd never seen food before.

[He's exaggerating, since Ephemera had been aware at least distantly of the Hadriel situation, but the sentiment is what's important here.]

There are definitely some good things about being here, and I'm glad that this is an upgrade for you, even with... Everything.

[It's not like the situation here is perfect, but still.]

From:

wittingly

[ If pressed, yeah, he wouldn't lie — the mini monster apocalypse fucked him up good. It was a trip straight back to PTSD land involving more than one drunken panic attack. He misses Nathan — other Nathan — and that feeling of connection, like they were both going through that same... thing. Some undefined specific thing, a split mix between substance abuse and anxiety disorders.

He never did learn what that guy's whole deal was. Maybe for the best, he's got enough attachments going on as it is. ]

Thanks, man. Same about, you know, fighting an eldritch chaos door. Now all you have to deal with are assholes on the internet.

[ And... more monsters, but that's not as snappy a line.

There's a blip — his eyes go suddenly away the way some people do when they're interacting with the implant. A second later: ]

Nate read the saga. You alright with more misery drinking company? Preemptive warning, the last time I got drunk he made me jog.

[ NEVER FORGET. ]

From:

lifetothefullest

[Unfortunately, it seems like monsters and assholes on the internet are both universal occurrences, at least in Lance's experience. But he offers a faint smile at the comments, nodding and taking another drink, and then notices the shift in Ian's expression. At first Lance isn't sure if it's the network or something more serious--with the subjects they're talking about it could've triggered something--but then he explains, and Lance relaxes a little again.]

That's fine. I think Nate knows better than to try to make me do any jogging.

[Or at least he better.]

From:

wittingly

I'd love to know how you pulled that shit off.

[ A good-natured grumble — if he'd had any real problem with it he wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Or, you know, if he didn't have the constant looming fear of fucking up attachments now that he dares to form them.

In any case, he'll just drink about it.

Also, dip back into precarious topics. ]

You talk to Kyna yet?