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[lifetothefullest]

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[evocation]

[Kyna spends a probably unnecessary amount of time locked in her room, hopelessly overwhelmed. There's about a thousand notifications on her stupid implant, the UI of which is utterly disorienting after a year without it, and she has to force herself to accept the fact that she was gone a year, but not. There's a total dissonance in time that she struggles to reconcile.

And then, of course, there's the loss of her magic. She accepts it more readily this time, but it's still a blow. Kyna feels totally disconnected again, like being rendered suddenly deaf or blind.

But she does force herself out after a half hour or so. She simultaneously hopes Lance is here and dreads the potential questions. What the hell is she supposed to say?

It isn't like the apartment is large, though, so she spots him almost instantly, with a concerning mountain of muffins on the kitchen counter. Is he... stress baking?]

Lance?

[lifetothefullest]

[Getting used to baking without the usual ingredients wasn't particularly challenging, though it did take a few tries before he really got the hand of the require proportions and adjustments to cook times and that sort of thing. So it had just been more excuse to keep making more muffins, and nevermind that he absolutely doesn't need that many muffins, because whatever; he can foist them off on Nate if necessary.

Most importantly, baking gives him something to do, just like compiling the information document had; the more distracted he is, the less he can worry about the multitude of things that are upsetting him. One of those things, unbeknownst to him, has just wandered into the kitchen while he has his back turned, half paying attention to the ingredients he's measuring out and the half his attention turned toward going through comments on the network.

And then he hears a voice and jumps, whirling toward the sound, and--]

You're back.

[It's a perfect mix of surprise and relief, because he'd hoped for this outcome, but he's known better than to expect it. But as glad as he is that she's return, he immediately has to ask--]

Are you okay?

[If she was in her world after all, who knows what might have happened, and he's heard from the people he's known who have left and returned that the entire situation can be very disorienting even if nothing terrible happened.]

[evocation]

Um...

[The question shouldn't throw her as much as it does, but she winces at it. Just so she has something to do with her hands, she grabs one of the muffins.]

I don't know.

[It's not a dodge, it's honest. She doesn't know how to describe it.]

I just... woke up back in bed like nothing happened.

[lifetothefullest]

[Hey, turns out the muffins serve a use as a distraction, which is a bonus.

But Lance's focus is entirely on Kyna at the moment, and he nods in understanding at her comments; he hasn't ever experienced this, but he's heard a lot of stories.]

Yeah, that's... I've heard it's really confusing and disorienting. Were you home a long time?

[Because that makes it more difficult.]

[evocation]

[That's an understatement.]

Um... Like a year? Over a year.

[She turns the muffin over in her hands, trying to figure out what flavor it is.]

I didn't remember anything while I was back.

[lifetothefullest]

[The particular one she's grabbed is banana and whatever nut was available; he hadn't paid too much attention.

He nods again, watching her reaction.]

I think that's what usually happens.

[And is why returning seems to be so disorienting; two sets of memories that don't line up correctly in time, and may even conflict in terms of choices and experiences, can't be easy to deal with.

He hesitates a few more moments, not wanting to just offer vague information but unsure how much to press. But, finally, he decides to ask--]

Do you want to talk about it?

[evocation]

Maybe.

[Translation: She's open to it. She's not shutting down immediately.]

Um... Which part?

[lifetothefullest]

[Hey, that's something. At the question he gives a small shrug.]

Whatever you want to talk about. If there's something specific on your mind, or a feeling, or anything else that's just there and bothering you, putting it in words might help.

[evocation]

[Kyna takes a deep breath, glancing away for a moment and then finally back.]

When you were in Hadriel, did you ever go home?

[lifetothefullest]

[He gives her the time to think about it, and when she asks her question he shakes his head.]

No, I didn't.

[And the prospect of doing so had been--and still is--terrifying, knowing what he'd come from and what future awaits him; even if the time at home would be temporary, that's something he doesn't want to experience. But that also means he can't truly relate to what she or others who've had the experience have gone through.]

[evocation]

[Maybe he hasn't experienced this exact thing, but at least he has an idea, right?

Fidgeting with the muffin isn't helping her nerves, so she sets it down in favor of stepping forward to rest her forehead against his shoulder. She'd hold his hand instead, but she's not sure she's ready for the empathy bond yet.]

I'm kind of glad to be back. I guess that probably sounds weird.

[lifetothefullest]

[The contact isn't entirely surprising at this point, though how she does it is a little unusual for her and it takes only a brief moment to realize she's probably avoiding the empathy bond.

Wearing long sleeves has many benefits, and one of those is that he can pull the ends of his sweater down over his hands and give her a loose hug without any worry of activating the connection.]

It's not weird. I'm sure you have a reason for it.

[Whether the situation in her world is particularly bad and this is now a better place to be, or if there was just something going on she's happy to be away from for a bit, or anything else; it isn't strange to think she might be glad to be here, though it is worrying. But he doesn't press further just yet, letting her explain at her own pace if she wants to.]

[evocation]

[The hug is exactly what she needs, and she relaxes into it, exhaling.]

At least I remember everything here. I mean, I think.

[She wraps her arms around him in return, quiet for a second.]

I guess I needed a break from home, too. A lot of fucked up shit happened. And you guys are here.

[lifetothefullest]

Do you want to talk about it? What happened at home.

[Since she mentioned the topic he thinks it's okay to ask, though he isn't sure if she does actually want to go into it.]

[evocation]

[She hesitates, considering it. She's not sure how much she wants to talk about it, but she feels like she should give him the basics. Or a warning, maybe.]

Bad shit with my dad. It's kind of heavy.

[lifetothefullest]

[That she offers that much indicates she might want to discuss it, at least to some extent, and so--]

That doesn't bother me.

[if she wants to talk, he'll listen.]

[evocation]

He, um. Did some really fucked up shit.

[That's a brief summary, right? She sighs, suddenly fascinated by a loose thread on the hem of her shirt.]

He hurt a lot of people.

[lifetothefullest]

I'm sorry. That can't be easy to deal with.

[He means it; he doesn't have any relatives, but he knows that people often feel a sense of responsibility for the things their family does even when they aren't close. There's that connection, and it can be more difficult to reconcile the actions of someone you're related to than a stranger.]