[IC Inbox | Meadowlark]

[lifetothefullest]

@lance.sweets | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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[evocation]

Wait, funding for what?

[lifetothefullest]

Funding for a team of people who can devote their time and energy to working on following leads, coming up with projects, that sort of thing instead of also having to worry about having jobs.

[evocation]

[She squints at him.]

Having a team of people isn't going to make everyone feel less cornered.

[lifetothefullest]

[Hey don't give him that look, it's not his idea; he raises his hands a little in a gesture of surrender.]

I know. Making some sort of progress, or at least trying to do so, is the only way we're going to take any sort of control over this situation instead of just reacting to it.

[evocation]

[She frowns a little at that.]

That's what we were trying to do. Make progress. Take control.

[lifetothefullest]

I understand that.

[And it tempers some of his irritation about the situation, but not all of it.]

[evocation]

You're the first person I've told, for what it's worth.

[lifetothefullest]

[He gives a quiet sigh, uncrossing his arms, and offers a faint hint of a smile.]

I hope the experience hasn't scared you off of telling anyone else.

[evocation]

[She thinks he's trying to joke, but... screw it, might as well be honest.]

Um... maybe a little.

[lifetothefullest]

[He's not entirely surprised by that response, but he does have to ask--]

You expected that I wouldn't exactly be happy about this, right?

[Considering how she'd approached the conversation and all.]

[evocation]

Yeah, but I didn't expect...

[She gestures vaguely.]

You know.

[Which is a very helpful response.]

[lifetothefullest]

[He's just going to give her a moment to see if she decides to elaborate unprompted; he has maybe a guess at what she means, but still would rather not influence her response especially if he's wrong.]

[evocation]

[Of course he's going to. She makes a face, eyes lifting to the ceiling as she thinks.]

God, okay, don't get mad. Just...

[How does she say this? Before she even opens her mouth again, she's wincing, but she spits it out anyway.]

Dismissive? Kind of condescending?

[lifetothefullest]

[He can't help it that his immediate reaction is defensive, but that's more a reflex than anything else and it's in direct contrast to that this was--more or less anyway--the answer he's expecting. It's not the first time he's heard that criticism, and although he's usually pretty good at avoiding behavior he's been made aware of he's also well aware that he hasn't exactly been on top of that sort of thing lately.

So he takes a moment to be sure he can respond that way he means to, finally shoving his hands in his pockets and sighing again.]

I can't exactly argue with that.

[evocation]

[The tension in Kyna's shoulders ease, and she tilts her head, studying him again.]

I didn't expect you to be disappointed, either.

[lifetothefullest]

What did you expect?

[It isn't accusatory, just uncertain. If she was expecting him to be upset but not to react that way he did, what alternative had she been predicting?]

[evocation]

I don't know. Angry?

[lifetothefullest]

Anger isn't usually an emotion that exists on its own, at least not solely; it's usually an expression of something else, at its core. Frustration or injustice are pretty common underlying causes, but so are disappointment, fear, and a variety of other emotions that can be manifested as anger or in their more direct forms.

[He offers another small shrug.]

Anger in its traditional form has its uses, but none of them apply in this situation and I'm not a huge proponent of being angry if you don't have to.

[evocation]

[She stares at him for a long moment, then scoffs. It's such a distanced, impersonal response that it raises her hackles instantly. And here she thought she was the one bad at talking about emotions.]

If I want a psych 101 lesson, I'll ask.

[lifetothefullest]

[Okay, fine, it was psychology speech but it was also true. He rolls his eyes at that response, crossing his arms again.]

You said you expected me to be angry; I was angry, because I was disappointed, but I might as well just skip right to that part without all the rest of it.

[evocation]

I think I would have liked it better if you were just pissed.

[lifetothefullest]

[He scrunches his nose a little at the thought.]

Maybe, but I wouldn't have.

[evocation]

[She almost leaves it, scrunching her nose in unconscious mimicry. Then she sighs, crossing her arms protectively.]

Look, my brother does that. The disappointed thing. It reminded me of that.

[lifetothefullest]

[Ah, that makes some sense.]

I don't have any siblings, so I don't exactly know that that's like, but I mean... I know it sucks from friends.

[evocation]

Yeah. 'Sucks' is a good word, I guess.