I guess I could say, truthfully, that at least there's the chance that whoever you're trying to help will change their mind if provided with enough time and encouragement.
[So there's still hope for whatever the situation is, at least?]
It's also always possible that whoever it is may want help more than it seems they do, but doesn't know how to ask for or accept it. In those cases, just making sure they know they have options can go a long way.
[Also true, and something he feels is important to mention especially on the chance--it's difficult to tell through text--that Atem might be talking about himself and not someone else.]
[Normally, especially when he's giving more formal counseling, Lance would avoid answering a question like that; not only does he like to avoid doing so personally, but it's professionally better to maintain distance and not do or say anything that allows the focus to be on him instead of whoever he's trying to help.
But things are different here, and he remembers clearly the conversation he had with Atem in the clinic, and so he thinks being personable rather than strictly professional may be the better route to take. Additionally, it might make Atem more comfortable with the whole thing if he isn't the only one taking the risk by talking and revealing things.
So, after a short delay, he responds with a simple answer.]
I feel that way most of the time.
[Both here and back at home, but especially here and especially lately.]
「Normally, Atem wouldn't care much about the wait between texts, it's not like he can picture people clinging to their phones expecting to be texted and answer immediately, that'd be insane... But right now, even the little wait seems to make him a little anxious. This whole situation he got himself into is not good for him, but he will not back down now. It only shows how much he needs someone to talk to, or to simply be there.
The answer comes and it's a relief.」
i will not tell you that i have never felt like that before. i would be lying to you if i did. but it was easier back then compared to this
i just want to keep them safe but how do i keep them safe from themselves?
「Them. A whole bunch of people, or a single person. It truly doesn't matter, the sentiment is the same. 」
[Well this is an issue that's been coming up a lot lately, although that's probably no surprise considering the Null invasion and all the turmoil and stress everyone here has been going through. But that means it's something Lance has been thinking a lot about, at least, and hopefully might be able to give some good advice on.
But that's difficult without knowing more about the details, so he'll have to ask a few more specific questions and hope Atem's willing to answer them.]
What are you concerned they're going to do? Is it more their physical or mental well-being that's at risk, or both?
「It helps, (but at the same time, it definitely doesn't) that it is not only the person he's looking after who has that problem, if anything he's trying to find what they have in common.
It is terrible that even if he thinks about it really hard, he might never notice that his own mental state wasn't so far from theirs not so long ago, maybe it still is, though, his destructive pattern is not nearly as glaring obvious as theirs as he doesn't wear it on his body, but he continues to take unnecessary risks even now.
He doesn't want to admit it, but he's plainly scared, about them, about his own apparent inadequacy to handle it. He's not supposed to fail like this to people.」
[It's still not enough for Lance to really go on, but at least it's an answer. So he makes a mental note of it, and then asks another slightly different one.]
What is it that they're doing that is worrying you? Is it some sort of active behavior, or a disregard for themselves, or something else?
「Well, he cannot really put them together anymore, he needs to choose here. Unfortunately leaving behind his roommate to favor the person he's taking care of, or trying to. There might be a few similarities anyway. His message come a little delayed, he didn't think he would have to spell every little thing to him.」
they... are not eating they are hurting themselves they dont seem to care about anything though... they get angry if you get in their space correct me if im wrong but if they truly didnt care shouldnt that say something? hah... or am i ... seeing things where they are none?
[Alright, there's more there to work with, at least. Lance is still not a fan of drawing conclusions on such little information, but at least it's something.]
Without knowing more about the situation, I can't say much for sure, but you're not necessarily wrong in your conclusion. Anger is a 'safe' emotion for a lot of people, and they may allow themselves to feel and show it when they don't want to face the other things they're feeling. Lashing out at those around them is a common reaction, and a way to act on their emotions that is immediately rewarding.
[So not a healthy coping mechanism, but definitely not true apathy either. And... Well, he can't judge a whole lot on the not eating issue, considering this morning is the first time in several days that Lance has both managed to convince himself to have a meal and was able to keep it down. Of course, he's aware that isn't a good thing, but there are lots of reasons why it might be the case for whoever Atem is talking about.]
Right now, with the food shortage and the stress of everything that's happened in the past few weeks, not eating is understandably worrying and not the best way of handling things, but it's not necessarily as serious as it might seem to be. If they're still drinking water, then for now it might be best to just keep an eye on them.
[And all of that said, he's most concerned about one part of what Atem said that seemed separate from the other issues just addressed.]
Alcohol is the opposite of helpful in avoiding dehydration.
[And that, combined with Atem's next answer, indicate there really is reason to be concerned.]
Does this person have other friends here, who might be able to assist you in getting through to them?
[Because the options he'd normally suggest back in his world to deal with someone who is potentially an active danger to themselves really aren't available here, so they're going to work with what they have.]
I primarily do trauma counseling, so I have specific experience helping people with issues related to stressful and traumatic events.
[So... Sort of. But there's an important caveat, and while he wishes he could reassure Atem that he knows exactly how to deal with this, that's neither ethical nor the truth.]
However, immediate threats are not my area of expertise. If I were in my world and had a patient who I thought was a pressing risk to themselves, I would refer them to someone who is trained to handle emergency cases.
[Which is, of course, not an option here.]
But the end result, which is that the individual is monitored to be sure they're safe while their underlying issues are addressed, can still be accomplished here.
[It just might not go over particularly smoothly.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:28 pm (UTC)「He needs it.」
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:30 pm (UTC)[So there's still hope for whatever the situation is, at least?]
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-12-21 05:37 pm (UTC)It's also always possible that whoever it is may want help more than it seems they do, but doesn't know how to ask for or accept it. In those cases, just making sure they know they have options can go a long way.
[Also true, and something he feels is important to mention especially on the chance--it's difficult to tell through text--that Atem might be talking about himself and not someone else.]
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:44 pm (UTC)how long have you been doing this again?
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:46 pm (UTC)[Which... Probably doesn't sound like a lot, but he's only twenty-nine and so there's just not that much time to have gained experience.]
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:47 pm (UTC)does it actually work?
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Date: 2017-12-21 05:50 pm (UTC)[And he can say this from being on both sides of things.]
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Date: 2017-12-21 06:06 pm (UTC)this is proving to be more than i can handle alone. if you could help me id really appreciate it
「Lance might never know how hard it was to contact him to begin with.」
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Date: 2017-12-21 06:14 pm (UTC)Of course. Would you like to speak in person?
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Date: 2017-12-21 06:26 pm (UTC)i know its not ideal but will have to do
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Date: 2017-12-21 06:40 pm (UTC)Okay. Where would you like to start?
[In other words, what's bothering him enough that he decided to message Lance? Is it multiple things?]
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Date: 2017-12-21 07:48 pm (UTC)That question though... Haha.」
i am not sure
「Bravo, he's failing at this already.」
tell me something lance
have you ever felt like youre never doing enough no matter how much you try?
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Date: 2017-12-21 07:56 pm (UTC)But things are different here, and he remembers clearly the conversation he had with Atem in the clinic, and so he thinks being personable rather than strictly professional may be the better route to take. Additionally, it might make Atem more comfortable with the whole thing if he isn't the only one taking the risk by talking and revealing things.
So, after a short delay, he responds with a simple answer.]
I feel that way most of the time.
[Both here and back at home, but especially here and especially lately.]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-21 09:59 pm (UTC)The answer comes and it's a relief.」
i will not tell you that i have never felt like that before. i would be lying to you if i did. but it was easier back then compared to this
i just want to keep them safe
but how do i keep them safe from themselves?
「Them. A whole bunch of people, or a single person.
It truly doesn't matter, the sentiment is the same. 」
no subject
Date: 2017-12-21 10:23 pm (UTC)But that's difficult without knowing more about the details, so he'll have to ask a few more specific questions and hope Atem's willing to answer them.]
What are you concerned they're going to do? Is it more their physical or mental well-being that's at risk, or both?
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Date: 2017-12-21 10:42 pm (UTC)ive seen what they are capable of
「It helps, (but at the same time, it definitely doesn't) that it is not only the person he's looking after who has that problem, if anything he's trying to find what they have in common.
It is terrible that even if he thinks about it really hard, he might never notice that his own mental state wasn't so far from theirs not so long ago, maybe it still is, though, his destructive pattern is not nearly as glaring obvious as theirs as he doesn't wear it on his body, but he continues to take unnecessary risks even now.
He doesn't want to admit it, but he's plainly scared, about them, about his own apparent inadequacy to handle it. He's not supposed to fail like this to people.」
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Date: 2017-12-21 11:04 pm (UTC)What is it that they're doing that is worrying you? Is it some sort of active behavior, or a disregard for themselves, or something else?
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Date: 2017-12-21 11:33 pm (UTC)they... are not eating
they are hurting themselves they dont seem to care about anything
though...
they get angry if you get in their space
correct me if im wrong but if they truly didnt care shouldnt that say something?
hah... or am i ... seeing things where they are none?
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Date: 2017-12-21 11:52 pm (UTC)Without knowing more about the situation, I can't say much for sure, but you're not necessarily wrong in your conclusion. Anger is a 'safe' emotion for a lot of people, and they may allow themselves to feel and show it when they don't want to face the other things they're feeling. Lashing out at those around them is a common reaction, and a way to act on their emotions that is immediately rewarding.
[So not a healthy coping mechanism, but definitely not true apathy either. And... Well, he can't judge a whole lot on the not eating issue, considering this morning is the first time in several days that Lance has both managed to convince himself to have a meal and was able to keep it down. Of course, he's aware that isn't a good thing, but there are lots of reasons why it might be the case for whoever Atem is talking about.]
Right now, with the food shortage and the stress of everything that's happened in the past few weeks, not eating is understandably worrying and not the best way of handling things, but it's not necessarily as serious as it might seem to be. If they're still drinking water, then for now it might be best to just keep an eye on them.
[And all of that said, he's most concerned about one part of what Atem said that seemed separate from the other issues just addressed.]
Hurting themselves in what way?
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Date: 2017-12-22 12:02 am (UTC)no water but alcohol instead
the bloody way
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Date: 2017-12-22 12:17 am (UTC)[And that, combined with Atem's next answer, indicate there really is reason to be concerned.]
Does this person have other friends here, who might be able to assist you in getting through to them?
[Because the options he'd normally suggest back in his world to deal with someone who is potentially an active danger to themselves really aren't available here, so they're going to work with what they have.]
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Date: 2017-12-22 12:40 am (UTC)「The fact is... he doesn't know them that well. But he's got his reasons to do this.」
do you have experience with this?
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Date: 2017-12-22 12:50 am (UTC)[So... Sort of. But there's an important caveat, and while he wishes he could reassure Atem that he knows exactly how to deal with this, that's neither ethical nor the truth.]
However, immediate threats are not my area of expertise. If I were in my world and had a patient who I thought was a pressing risk to themselves, I would refer them to someone who is trained to handle emergency cases.
[Which is, of course, not an option here.]
But the end result, which is that the individual is monitored to be sure they're safe while their underlying issues are addressed, can still be accomplished here.
[It just might not go over particularly smoothly.]
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Date: 2017-12-22 12:58 am (UTC)so i keep at it. is that it?
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