[He sighs in frustration at the fact that his words are failing him right now]
-with everything about my own family, about Danielle... my emotions got in the way when it came to Frisk. I wanted desperately to help. To do anything for them. But I think my inability to take that professional step back, I think it hindered my actual ability to help them.
[Lee goes quiet before looking over at Lance]
Please don't misunderstand. Frisk was no replacement or stand in for my own child. For Danielle. Frisk was...is... a magnificent young person and my attachment to them is born from that. I cared for them in their own right. But my ability to act. To make choices for how to help and protect a child, that is where my abilities were crippled.
[Lance's very first, initial gut reaction is an uncharacteristically cold one; he wants to say he can't help with that, to just deal with it and grow up, and that as much as Lance does care about Rosen he still has very little sympathy for his inability to parent. That's something he should've dealt with before he had a kid, and before he tried dealing with other children.
But that's a reaction that's neither helpful to Rosen or to himself, and it's one that comes from emotions he doesn't care to encourage. So although he has to focus his gaze on the distance where they're walking instead of continuing with eye contact, his tone and words are measured and supportive.]
Don't discount how important it is just to know that someone cares. You may have done more for them than you realize.
There are things I know. That I was a safe refuge for Frisk. That they trusted and cared for me. That they entrusted me with their thoughts, their feelings, and with the care of their friends. As a friend. I was friend to them and them to myself. But that is not the kind of help I am talking about.
[He sighs, almost sounding angry but he's feeling torn. There are things he wishes he could tell lance. The discussion with Sans, the discussion with Frisk. The world of the Underground and the hellish timelines that skipped and scratched like old records. There was so much MORE that Frisk had needed than someone who cared ]
Just...Nevermind. I made them both a promise. I can't speak any more on it.
[It leaves a bad taste in his mouth holding it back, but he made the promise, and if Sans and Frisk should ever reappear, he didn't want it to be to betrayed friendships and broken promises]
[Lance is quiet, listening, trying to put together pieces and figure out what exactly Rosen is talking about, but having only spoken to Sans a few times and none at all to Frisk, there's only so much context he really has. When Rosen adds that he promised not to say anything more, Lance both understands--he knows things about people here that he can't say, for various reasons--and, guiltily, feels a little relieved to be able to drop the topic.
So he nods but doesn't respond, letting silence fall for now as he takes the time to sort out his thoughts and refocus on the point of this whole outing.]
You need a project.
[He finally declares this with great certainty, glancing over at Rosen.]
It's important to have something to focus on and accomplish.
[And getting to actually doing things again is one of the best ways to begin moving past a whole lot of different kinds of problems.]
[He doubts it, but the question is more to get Rosen to start thinking about it. Though maybe he has an idea from some time ago that he just hasn't gotten to?]
Well as I told you before I was married to Regis. Happily so, according to the illusion.
[Lee rolls his shoulders back, looking uncomfortable]
We had a nice home, careers, a family...
[It was all in all idyllic]
I've always known that I am attracted to..well to both [He can't believe he's talking to Lance about his sex life but alas there it is] ...so its not that. Its not that Regis is a man and that I am a man. I just don't understand why I am so incapable of achieving that kind of stable loving relationship outside of a Gods' illusion.
[If this weren't a serious situation in which Lance is supposed to be being at least semi-professional, this would be a perfect time for teasing about the awkwardness of how Rosen puts things; but, as it is, Lance just nods seriously and passes over it to focus on the main issue.]
I'm not sure putting it that way is exactly right; I very much doubt you're incapable of maintaining a relationship. However, there is probably a particular thing, or perhaps several particular things, that is making it difficult for you and simply wasn't an issue in that other setting.
[When there's a pattern it's usually for a reason, and Lance knows from his own experience in the event as well as speaking with others that some of the more serious things in individual's histories, and the resulting issues from them, were glossed over.]
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timeasmymeasure
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-08-16 05:40 am (UTC)[He sighs in frustration at the fact that his words are failing him right now]
-with everything about my own family, about Danielle... my emotions got in the way when it came to Frisk. I wanted desperately to help. To do anything for them. But I think my inability to take that professional step back, I think it hindered my actual ability to help them.
[Lee goes quiet before looking over at Lance]
Please don't misunderstand. Frisk was no replacement or stand in for my own child. For Danielle. Frisk was...is... a magnificent young person and my attachment to them is born from that. I cared for them in their own right. But my ability to act. To make choices for how to help and protect a child, that is where my abilities were crippled.
[Action]
Date: 2017-08-16 05:53 am (UTC)But that's a reaction that's neither helpful to Rosen or to himself, and it's one that comes from emotions he doesn't care to encourage. So although he has to focus his gaze on the distance where they're walking instead of continuing with eye contact, his tone and words are measured and supportive.]
Don't discount how important it is just to know that someone cares. You may have done more for them than you realize.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-08-16 06:03 am (UTC)[Rosen goes back to staring in ahead]
There are things I know. That I was a safe refuge for Frisk. That they trusted and cared for me. That they entrusted me with their thoughts, their feelings, and with the care of their friends. As a friend. I was friend to them and them to myself. But that is not the kind of help I am talking about.
[He sighs, almost sounding angry but he's feeling torn. There are things he wishes he could tell lance. The discussion with Sans, the discussion with Frisk. The world of the Underground and the hellish timelines that skipped and scratched like old records. There was so much MORE that Frisk had needed than someone who cared ]
Just...Nevermind. I made them both a promise. I can't speak any more on it.
[It leaves a bad taste in his mouth holding it back, but he made the promise, and if Sans and Frisk should ever reappear, he didn't want it to be to betrayed friendships and broken promises]
[Action]
Date: 2017-08-17 12:35 am (UTC)So he nods but doesn't respond, letting silence fall for now as he takes the time to sort out his thoughts and refocus on the point of this whole outing.]
You need a project.
[He finally declares this with great certainty, glancing over at Rosen.]
It's important to have something to focus on and accomplish.
[And getting to actually doing things again is one of the best ways to begin moving past a whole lot of different kinds of problems.]
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-08-17 03:49 am (UTC)Mn.
[For a long while he leaves it there. Just a sound in his throat before finally he nods slowly]
That is...possible.
[Though easier said than done.]
Yes. Yes I think you're right.
[Action]
Date: 2017-08-18 05:57 pm (UTC)[He doubts it, but the question is more to get Rosen to start thinking about it. Though maybe he has an idea from some time ago that he just hasn't gotten to?]
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-08-30 04:57 am (UTC)[He shakes his head as he says it before stopping midstep]
But Sans' letter might be a good place to start. In it he, um, he told me to look out for the kids. Maybe that could be something.
[Action]
Date: 2017-09-01 12:00 am (UTC)It could be. Why did you stop?
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-09-01 12:21 am (UTC)I want to ask you something and I wanted to make sure there wasn't anyone else around when I asked as its personal
[So he didn't want to risk walking past an open window or a fellow cave dweller]
About the things that happened when we all believed we had different lives.
[I.e. being married to Regis]
[Action]
Date: 2017-09-01 12:27 am (UTC)Alright.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-09-01 12:44 am (UTC)[Lee rolls his shoulders back, looking uncomfortable]
We had a nice home, careers, a family...
[It was all in all idyllic]
I've always known that I am attracted to..well to both [He can't believe he's talking to Lance about his sex life but alas there it is] ...so its not that. Its not that Regis is a man and that I am a man. I just don't understand why I am so incapable of achieving that kind of stable loving relationship outside of a Gods' illusion.
[Action]
Date: 2017-09-01 01:12 am (UTC)I'm not sure putting it that way is exactly right; I very much doubt you're incapable of maintaining a relationship. However, there is probably a particular thing, or perhaps several particular things, that is making it difficult for you and simply wasn't an issue in that other setting.
[When there's a pattern it's usually for a reason, and Lance knows from his own experience in the event as well as speaking with others that some of the more serious things in individual's histories, and the resulting issues from them, were glossed over.]