lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

[Lance is trying a different tactic in dealing with his own problems now, one that's a little frightening to him but he thinks will be for the best. So, hopefully, even if topics stray things will be better than they were.

He nods at the comments, waiting for Ephemera to lead the way into the building.]

Trouble sleeping has a way of amplifying other problems, a lot more than people realize or give it credit for.

[And Lance knows this from experience; it can make dealing with other issues so much more difficult, so he doesn't want Ephemera to brush it off.]

Yeah, sure, I can try it, though I'm not good with my dominant hand so I'm not sure if using my off hand is going to work out too great. At least it might be entertaining?

Hnn. Maybe.

[There were times during the war where he barely slept on missions. CT watched everyone like a hawk to make sure they weren't bumming stimulants off the medics and it hadn't been fun, there'd been a few times Ephemera thinks he was hallucinating because ghosts did not exist and he's seen four in the field, but he survived. They all survived.

He pushes the door open before he can follow that thought any further. It's not important.]

It's a skill. You can learn it. And it helps with other stuff too. Coordination, depth-perception.

[Important stuff. Especially in a place like Hadriel. After a moment, he adds:]

It's okay. It's not dangerous like this. You'll probably hit the floor a bunch, but everybody does when they learn.

[Lance decides to let the 'maybe' go for now, though if the subject comes around again he'll press it a bit more. But for now he lets Ephemera shift topics to the knife-throwing, offering a small shrug.]

So it'll be pretty much like last time, again.

[With a lot of failed throws.]

[Ephemera flashes Sweets a grin and starts lining up knives on the counter.]

Probably. But like I said, everybody starts out like this. You'll get better.

You have such unwarranted confidence in me.

[He says it lightly, jokingly self-deprecating, but he's at least less nervous about trying knife-throwing this time.]

You say that now, [Ephemera teases, picking up one of the little knives and tossing it up into the air. Showing off a bit. Then he switches it to his left hand and throws.] C'mon, give it a shot.

[Lance rolls his eyes at the comments and the showing off, but it's from amusement and he picks up a knife without protest. Switching it to his left hand is awkward, and he already knows he's going to be terrible before the throws it, and so puts no real thought or effort into it as he flicks it at the target on the wall.

Except that it sticks, and although not exactly the best-aimed in the world it isn't hugely off target either. Lance just stares at it for a moment, utterly confused, and then glances at Ephemera with an expression somewhere between perplexed and disbelieving.]

[Well, goddamn. Ephemera laughs, soft and surprised.]

Lookit you go. That's really good.

That you, but it's never going to happen again.

[Because that was a ridiculous fluke, although he is quietly pleased now that the surprise is wearing off.]

Maybe, but you still did it.

[Despite what people say, luck counts. Ephemera tips his head to the side.]

You're picking this up fast.

[Lance gives a small shrug in return, pleased but awkward about the compliments and not sure he can agree. But he won't argue either, instead just shifting on his feet a moment before deciding to try to steer the topic back to the underlying one he thinks motivated this meeting.]

So... Has anything new happened with the recent arrivals, since you told me about them being here?

[Yeah. That.

Ephemera hesitates for a long moment before throwing again, a little harder this time. The knife sinks in deep.]

There's some stuff I learned.

[He glances at Sweets briefly.]

Washington tell you what went down on Chorus?

I heard part of a story, but I'm not sure if it's the one you're referring to.

[Since there was no mention of Chorus, at least not that Lance remembers.]

[Ephemera tips his head back, not looking at Sweets. It's not a very good story. A lot of people got hurt.]

I'll try to explain. I'm not good at that. I think I get things confused, sometimes.

[Or forget them. Stuff he shouldn't.]

Chorus was a colony planet. Middle of nowhere. Wouldn't have mattered except it had a bunch of alien ruins. And weapons. That made it a valuable asset. But there were people living there, too. They didn't wanna leave. So interested parties made it hard to live there. That make sense so far?

[Lance nods.]

So far, yes.

Apparently there was a civil war. I don't know much about that. Just that it was ugly.

[He hadn't paid much attention, honestly.]

That's when Charon got involved. They're...hnn. Private military contractors, I guess you'd call 'em. They inserted operatives on both sides of the conflict, try to up the casualties. Everybody's dead, Charon could sweep in, take the artifacts. Heard they'd done it a couple other places, if you believe the gossip.

[He hadn't helped for those campaigns, but he'd heard rumors.]

Anyway, it went wrong. Their operatives, these two mercs called Felix and Locus, they got exposed. Washington's people were there - don't ask me why - and they helped the locals declare a cease fire and fight back. Locus didn't have enough troops to hold back two armies at once. So.

It would've taken too long to ship in professionals. And somebody might've figured out what Charon was up to. So they tried something else.

[And now they're coming to the complicated part. Ephemera sighs. Watches Sweets for a long moment.]

The UNSC doesn't like to keep military prisons planet-side. So they launch these prison ships out in deep space. There were about three hundred of us. All former military. All combat veterans.

Felix thought it was pretty clever.

[He scowls.]

Little bastard.

[Well, it's all an unpleasant and unfortunate story so far, but it's definitely filling some things in.]

Is that how you encountered Washington and the others for the first time, or was this after an initial meeting?

No. That was before. Years ago.

[Ephemera twitches. Puts his hands flat against the bar.]

Anyway. They killed the guards, anyone who wouldn't go for it. Armored the rest of us up.

[There had been a lot of bodies on the ground by the time it was done.]

One of the other prisoners knew who I was. That I had a history with Freelancer. Don't know how. Didn't ask. But that was enough. Locus gave me armor, weapons. Whatever I wanted. Said if I helped them, I'd get my shot at Freelancer. So I did.

[Lance nods again to show that he's understanding, watching Ephemera's reaction carefully as the stories continue.]

[The next part is harder. Ephemera is quiet for a long moment, trying to find the words. Part of him just wants to bolt or offer to start throwing knives again, something - anything - other than talking about this bullshit.

But in the end, that's weak. Do better, soldier. You promised.]

I never took their helmets off. So I didn't--

[Never thought to. Never guessed that the reason they were so slow, so easy to scare, was because--

Ephemera breathes. Bows his head.]

I had rules. Even then, I had rules. For CT. We never do that, we never hurt kids. Never.

[But he'd never looked. Never asked.]

Yeah, uh. I guess they were really desperate on Chorus. Because that's what they sent out to fight us. Teenagers. And I hurt them. I did that.

[Ugh. The whole thought of that makes his skin crawl a little, but he can't necessarily fault Ephemera for it; he's seen the armour they all wear, after all, and unless he had reason to believe they weren't adults of course he wouldn't have thought to check otherwise.]

I'm sorry.

[For Ephemera, the kids who died, and the whole situation. It sounds horrible.]

[Ephemera jerks his head, not looking at Sweets. There are too many things running through his head. More than anything, he knows what CT would have said. Or rather, what Hunter would have said. The awful, crystal truth of it.]

I didn't hate them. Didn't think about them at all. They were kids and I shot them like they were nothing.

[Because they were between him and Washington. There's a sharp, throbbing pain at the thought of that.

Ephemera exhales. It hurts to breathe.]

And I gave them a planet killer. Found it in the ruins. Knew what it was. Knew Felix would use it even if Locus didn't. Didn't care. I gave it to them so I'd get one more shot at Carolina. Just one more chance. I fucking killed kids for them.

[Lance is getting a better idea--at least he thinks so, anyway--of what some of this might be really about, and he's also making careful note of different points to address. It's easier than thinking too much about the situation and what Ephemera is telling him really means; he's not quite up to really handling that just yet, officially back from vacation or not.

He almost decides to remain silent and let Ephemera just continue, but there's something he has to ask.]

Do you regret it, knowing what you do now?

[He's quiet for a moment. A long one.]

Yeah. But that doesn't change what I did.

[Lance isn't sure he likes the length of time that answer takes, but at least the answer itself is a good one.]

It doesn't, but it still matters.

[But he's not going to go more into this topic until he's sure Ephemera's said everything else he intended to in this conversation.]

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