[He doesn't look at her as she works through it, listening to her breathing enough to keep tabs on how she's doing but letting his gaze stay out on the water, watching what looks like a fish that keeps just skimming the surface. He knows feeling studied absolutely doesn't help, and so does his best to avoid that.
It's a relief that she does seem to be calming on her own though; that's something so much easier to achieve in thought than in practice. But he expects her to kind of gloss over the moment, rather than ask a question, and so it catches him briefly off guard and he has to decide how truthful to be.
But they're sharing right now, and she surely feels embarrassed at the moment, which would not be helped by being brushed off. So, after a moment, he sighs quietly and gives a small shrug.]
Not in itself, really. It's just an easy song to play.
[But although that's true, it's not really the story, and so he continues.]
I used to be pretty good at singing, at home, but um... At the same time I broke my leg I had some other injuries too, and I was kind of afraid my voice would be messed up.
[He's glossing over so much, because he doesn't want to talk about details, but he's aware it's probably very easy to put together. That's okay, as long as he doesn't have to get more into it.]
My friend finally convinced me to give singing a try again, and that's the song we were practicing with, since it didn't take too much concentration to play at the same time.
[And, because it's the obvious question--]
I was not exactly as good as I used to be, but not horrible either, and I got to spend some time with my friend so... Overall a positive memory.
[It's the trust they're building, small tentative steps. Never requiring anything from each other, but just- reciprocal. You showed me, so I'll show you. Ellie's expression smooths out as she focuses on the music, on the steadiness of Lance's voice. She turns to him, working herself back to full focus, watching his profile in the semi-darkness, lit by the soft blue glow.
Acknowledge. Keep moving. Yes, the ghosts are there, but they can't stop them. It's something she had to learn, even if sometimes it's felt like she's kept herself moving out of pure spite.
She puts it together. Broken leg, throat trauma. Other injuries. A hesitation to put weight on something that still hurt. She lets her gaze drop to the curve of his hands, and nods.]
... it fucking sucks. Being hurt in a way that-
[Ellie gestures, with her hand with the prosthetic fingers, holding it out. He remembers, she knows he does. He also knows that she plays the guitar.]
[Ellie echoes that smile, feeling old, and tired, and hollowed out, but better. A lot better than when she started.]
Look at us.
[Ellie lets out her breath, glances back out onto the water, weighing things in her head. It's not a total revelation, but she gets what he's trying to say.]
... guess it's about finding a way to make it work, even if it's not pretty.
[Lance lets his power fade, the music trailing off with the glow, and he gives a small shrug of agreement.]
Yeah. Sometimes, you just have to make the most of what you have.
[And sometimes 'the most' isn't great. Not just in terms of the situation, but in terms of the choices someone has to make, and when it's done it's done. Then you have to decide how to go forward with what's left.
But that said--]
And for now, we have it getting dark, and so we should probably go get something to eat.
[One of those little 'I'll take care of myself like an adult if you do too' arrangements of theirs, especially since neither of them is probably feeling too up for that otherwise.]
[Maybe it's because she feels so tender, but Lance taking care of her like this, now, makes the bridge of her nose sting. She'd rather disappear, hole up like some wounded animal to lick her hurts. But him knowing that she needs the company without the pressure, along with the silent confirmation that he knows exactly what she's done with him, helps.
It feels raw, yes. It feels like she cracked something open, even with how comparatively little he's gotten out of her in terms of the whole story.
But she's also willing to bear the cost, to try to patch something of herself together.
And more than that, try to give Lance something he actually can accomplish. They came out this evening with him feeling so obviously despondent and ineffective... but now he can focus on her instead, just for a little while. On someone he can genuinely help, who does need him and his friendship and support, instead of the things he can't fix.
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lifetothefullest) wrote2019-08-25 08:38 pm
no subject
It's a relief that she does seem to be calming on her own though; that's something so much easier to achieve in thought than in practice. But he expects her to kind of gloss over the moment, rather than ask a question, and so it catches him briefly off guard and he has to decide how truthful to be.
But they're sharing right now, and she surely feels embarrassed at the moment, which would not be helped by being brushed off. So, after a moment, he sighs quietly and gives a small shrug.]
Not in itself, really. It's just an easy song to play.
[But although that's true, it's not really the story, and so he continues.]
I used to be pretty good at singing, at home, but um... At the same time I broke my leg I had some other injuries too, and I was kind of afraid my voice would be messed up.
[He's glossing over so much, because he doesn't want to talk about details, but he's aware it's probably very easy to put together. That's okay, as long as he doesn't have to get more into it.]
My friend finally convinced me to give singing a try again, and that's the song we were practicing with, since it didn't take too much concentration to play at the same time.
[And, because it's the obvious question--]
I was not exactly as good as I used to be, but not horrible either, and I got to spend some time with my friend so... Overall a positive memory.
[And so a positive association with the song.]
no subject
Acknowledge. Keep moving. Yes, the ghosts are there, but they can't stop them. It's something she had to learn, even if sometimes it's felt like she's kept herself moving out of pure spite.
She puts it together. Broken leg, throat trauma. Other injuries. A hesitation to put weight on something that still hurt. She lets her gaze drop to the curve of his hands, and nods.]
... it fucking sucks. Being hurt in a way that-
[Ellie gestures, with her hand with the prosthetic fingers, holding it out. He remembers, she knows he does. He also knows that she plays the guitar.]
Music's like, a part of you. Obviously.
[As if his powers didn't spell that out.]
no subject
Yeah, it does. But I got some magical healing, and you have cool robo-fingers now, so look at us.
[Maybe a little patchwork, but both still going. There's something to be said for that, right?]
no subject
Look at us.
[Ellie lets out her breath, glances back out onto the water, weighing things in her head. It's not a total revelation, but she gets what he's trying to say.]
... guess it's about finding a way to make it work, even if it's not pretty.
no subject
Yeah. Sometimes, you just have to make the most of what you have.
[And sometimes 'the most' isn't great. Not just in terms of the situation, but in terms of the choices someone has to make, and when it's done it's done. Then you have to decide how to go forward with what's left.
But that said--]
And for now, we have it getting dark, and so we should probably go get something to eat.
[One of those little 'I'll take care of myself like an adult if you do too' arrangements of theirs, especially since neither of them is probably feeling too up for that otherwise.]
no subject
It feels raw, yes. It feels like she cracked something open, even with how comparatively little he's gotten out of her in terms of the whole story.
But she's also willing to bear the cost, to try to patch something of herself together.
And more than that, try to give Lance something he actually can accomplish. They came out this evening with him feeling so obviously despondent and ineffective... but now he can focus on her instead, just for a little while. On someone he can genuinely help, who does need him and his friendship and support, instead of the things he can't fix.
Maybe they can both find some peace.]
Yeah. Not a bad idea.