[The way that Lance frames things seems generous towards her, assuming quite a bit of good faith, optimistic. It isn't that she feels that he doesn't understand, or even that he's wrong. She can objectively see how he's correct. Even when it comes to her, and her actions.
What she doesn't believe in or trust is herself, and her own judgment, because it's been so skewed for so long. But she doesn't know how to begin to explain that.]
There's having fucked up things happen to you, and then there's... becoming the fucked up things that happen to other people, and not knowing how to not be?
[It sounds stupid when she says it, but Ellie doesn't know anything about the cycle of violence, or the patterns of trauma that repeat through families. All she knows are the things she's seen and experienced.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-02-21 02:05 am (UTC)What she doesn't believe in or trust is herself, and her own judgment, because it's been so skewed for so long. But she doesn't know how to begin to explain that.]
There's having fucked up things happen to you, and then there's... becoming the fucked up things that happen to other people, and not knowing how to not be?
[It sounds stupid when she says it, but Ellie doesn't know anything about the cycle of violence, or the patterns of trauma that repeat through families. All she knows are the things she's seen and experienced.]