[She cuts herself off, sighing again, but this time it's less clear if she's annoyed at herself or the situation.]
I wasn't trying to brush it off, I just... I'm trying to be better about dealing with this shit, you know? Everyone's always getting pissed off on the network and that's how I've always been too, but it just... It only ever made things worse for me.
[One of her former foolproof methods of torpedoing relationships was letting herself sink into her anger or hurt and either picking fights or just making them a thousand times worse. She's finally reaching a place where it seems scarier to self-sabotage than to work through things, which is sadly new.]
I know I didn't... I don't know. I didn't shut down his insults hard enough, but... I was trying to handle it better.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-11-14 04:39 am (UTC)[She cuts herself off, sighing again, but this time it's less clear if she's annoyed at herself or the situation.]
I wasn't trying to brush it off, I just... I'm trying to be better about dealing with this shit, you know? Everyone's always getting pissed off on the network and that's how I've always been too, but it just... It only ever made things worse for me.
[One of her former foolproof methods of torpedoing relationships was letting herself sink into her anger or hurt and either picking fights or just making them a thousand times worse. She's finally reaching a place where it seems scarier to self-sabotage than to work through things, which is sadly new.]
I know I didn't... I don't know. I didn't shut down his insults hard enough, but... I was trying to handle it better.