lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

We could, but it's important to be very clear that professional advice and friend advice can be kind of different.

[Ethically he has to be sure that's apparent, although it would kind of be a relief to not need to be in psychologist mode as often. Either way, though--]

Sure, I'll help however I can.

I know. I think I'd rather hear from a friend but if you want to go professional because you know us both, I get that.

Can I meet you somewhere?

[Okay. He supposes he'll have to see exactly what this is about before he decides how to handle it, but he appreciates Drake giving him the option.]

Yeah, sure. Is there somewhere you'd prefer to meet?

Not really. If you want to come over, I've got the place to myself for a few hours.

Okay, I'll be there soon then.

[And as promised, he shows up a little while later and knocks gently on the door.]

[ Drake answers pretty quick, and when he opens the door he looks significantly better than the last time Lance saw him. Aside from his hair growing in zombie-white, which he can't do anything about right now, he's gained a little bulk back and the constant sun on patrols and their jaunt into the wasteland has made him less corpse-pale. ]

Hey, man. Come on in.

[ The apartment hasn't changed all that much since Drake moved in, except for the addition of curtains to keep the place a little cooler. There is a different mural on the living room wall, though, a galaxy neither of them will recognize. ]

Can I get you anything?

[Lance is similarly looking better; less tense and distant, with more color in his face and energy in general. He smiles at Drake when he enters, glancing around the apartment and taking in the small changes briefly before looking back at Drake again.]

I'm alright, thank you. You look like you're feeling better, since we last saw each other.

[And he's really glad to see that.]

You too. I guess getting out of the city was a good break?

[ He takes a seat on the couch, leaving Lance with the option of joining him or taking the armchair. ]

Yeah. It got kind of boring after awhile, but it was still nice to do something different.

[And only have to worry about a few immediate things, like making sure he had enough food and such. And he takes the armchair, though leaning forward rather than back; it's a difference in posture that goes with being more casual than professional.]

So what's going on?

[ Drake nods in agreement -- there wasn't really much out there to engage with. But his own trip is actually what set off this tiny crisis, so he takes a moment to decide how to explain that. It'd be easiest to start from the beginning. ]

Okay. I know Ephemera told you that some people from his world showed up last month. And things have actually been... fine. He even talked to one of them about the situation on the planet they were last on, and it got him thinking about going back. To help, instead of trying to kill them. Which is great, right? Except after we talked about it for awhile, I said that if there was a way for me to survive there, I'd go too.

[Lance nods, listening, and that all makes sense--and is great, as far as Ephemera goes--but he has a feeling this suggestion might not have gone over well, if Drake is wanting to talk about it.

But he decides not to say anything just yet, waiting for Drake to continue at his own pace.]

[ Actually, it went over really well, despite the obvious hurdle of his inhumanity. Which is sort of the problem now. ]

I meant it at the time. I still mean it, if I had to choose right now I'd go. But... I guess spending some time out of the city, seeing the destruction, got to me. On paper going back and saving a planet, helping it rebuild, it sounds great. Thing is I don't know if I'm cut out for war. I killed a bunch of the Null, yeah, but people? There's a reason I joined the force instead of the military.

[Oh, hm. Definitely a different issue than Lance was expecting, and one he's slightly unclear about; not that not wanting to be in the military part--he gets that perfectly well--but if it would end up being a problem.]

That's understandable, but would it be necessary to be involved in the war if you went there? I know things are very... Militaristic in Ephemera's world, but even in the military there are noncombatants that assist in medical efforts, rebuilding, that sort of thing.

That's the thing. Everyone on that planet is a combatant, even the medics. Apparently most of their army is kids since the war's been going on so long. Anyone who can hold a gun gets tossed into it.

[ He breathes out, thinking. ]

I don't expect to show up and be an exception. But I don't know if I could handle it, either.

[Ugh, of course that would be the situation. Can't expect children and doctors not to also take part in the fighting, right?]

That's... Unfortunate, but makes sense.

[And that said--]

You have good reason to be concerned, and it isn't wrong to be unwilling to participate.

[Even if that means it creates a conflict about whether or not to go to Ephemera's world.]

It might not even be possible for me to go, and we could be stuck here for years before it's an option anyway, so the logical part of me is saying I shouldn't be worrying about this yet. But I am. I can't get those ruins out in the desert off my mind, I just keep thinking of who used to live in them and how they must have died. What it'd be like to be in the middle of that kind of fight.

If it does end up being possible, you may not have much time to decide. Thinking about your options in advance is a good idea, and not just for practical reasons; it's better to work through it and have a plan in place for your own mental and emotional benefit.

[That's all essentially professional advice, but the next part is much more just Lance.]

But if you're feeling so conflicted, particularly on an emotional level, you may already know what decision to make.

You think I should tell him I can't go, huh?

[ He shakes his head, because that was the first panicked thought to pop into his head and he's already dismissed it. This is too important to bail on. ]

There must be some way to brace for it. What would I have done if there was a draft back home, right?

I didn't say that, but the fact that you did is telling.

[He isn't saying that in the psychologist way, just as an observation, although--]

But yeah. That seems to be, from my viewpoint, what you want to do.

[He shakes his head a little at the last question, though it isn't completely a rejection of the topic.]

A draft in a world like either of ours would be a very different situation, for many reasons. It's likely not comparable.

Why is the only choice Ephemera's world, though?

It's not what I want. It's what I'm scared of.

[ Why? Drake scrubs at his face for a moment, then leans forward with his elbows braced on his knees. ]

When we met, all he wanted was to go home and finish what he'd started. I've spent months hoping he'd decide not to go back after all, and instead he came up with something better. Something that'll actually have meaning. It's a good idea, Lance.

[Lance is quiet, listening, and watching Drake's body language; he isn't really convinced by his words, especially not with the entire conversation so far.

But he let out a long, quiet breath, before deciding to ask--]

Do you want me to respond professionally, or personally?

[Because there will be a big difference, and it's only fair to give Drake the chance to clearly decide which he wants.]

[ Oh geez. If there's that much of a difference between them maybe he should go with professional. But Lance's personal opinion might take both their feelings into account. Drake winces a little. ]

I don't suppose you'd let me hear both?

[Lance offers a small shrug at that.]

The professional advice would involve some more questioning first, but generally ask you to examine more carefully your motivations for making this decision, and if you truly believe it's as good a choice--let alone the best choice--as you're stating considering you have such strong reservations.

[And all of that said--]

Personally, I'd ask you if any number of positives about the situation could outweigh the possibility of having to participate in a war.

[And everything that goes with it, because no matter how in the 'right' one since might be--and who knows how much that's the case here--horrible things happen and are done in wars. The moral issue isn't one to ignore.]

[ Examining his motivations and weighing the positives, huh? That sounds... difficult. At least it's a starting point. ]

I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do. But this is too complicated for a pro/con list.

Edited 2018-03-09 03:30 (UTC)

It is, especially as one single aspect can outweigh all the others, on either side.

[There's another issue to consider as well.]

Have you spoken with Ephemera about your concerns?

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