lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

Then I might have screwed up.

[ Drake presses his lips together, trying to organize his thoughts, but his head is sort of spinning here. He's never admitted this before, has hardly admitted it to himself, and certainly hasn't accepted it. He doesn't know what it means. Not for him, or him and Liv, or him and Ephemera. ]

I love Liv. I do, I'd marry her if I could, and getting to be with her here is even better than it was at home. It's not that I'm not happy.

But I fell for someone else too. Somebody that's relying on me a lot right now, and I don't know if I should be as involved in his life as I am, as long as I'm hiding this.

[Well, Lance is not exactly pleased to hear when someone has a problem of any sort, but this is a refreshingly normal issue to have. Even with the issues of Drake being dead in his world and potentially having feelings for someone from a completely different world making it a little more complicated, this is a much more mundane issue than a lot that come up here.

That also means Lance thinks he might be able to help more, or at least give better advice, so there's that. But he wants to make sure he truly understands the situation first.]

Okay, so just to be clear, there's someone here who you have feelings for, but you also still love Liv. And therefore you're concerned about being so involved in the other person's life and problems because you haven't told them, or Liv, how strongly you actually feel about them?

[He's just making sure he has the right impression of what's going on; there's no judgement in any of what he asks.]

In a nutshell, yeah. You got it.

[ And this is the point at which he needs advice, because. ]

I can't shake this feeling that I'm about to ruin everything.

[He nods in understanding, and yeah, a situation like this can be a mess, but usually a manageable one.]

What makes you think that? What is the worst case scenario for you?

Losing both of them.

[ There's no hesitation, no need to consider the question -- Drake knows what his worst case scenario is because he can't stop thinking about it. His hands curl into fists in his lap with tension. ]

Liv leaves me because she thinks I don't love her enough anymore, and I lose the best relationship I've ever had. Ephemera's freaked and tells me to fuck off, and I lose the best friend I've ever had.

I think other people figured it out before me, though, so even if I try and bottle this shit up... somebody could say something.

[Okay, pretty normal fears here, except for that last part anyway; he's not sure if Drake is being paranoid or someone might really have figured it out and, not only that, but might tell someone.

Also ah, so that's who Drake's friend and potential romantic interest is. Interesting to know.]

Are you sure of how you feel about him? How long have you known each other?

[Again, it isn't judgemental, just asking; crushes and infatuations happen, even as adults. It would make things a lot simpler if that were the case, and it's especially likely in a high stress situation--like being here--that someone's emotions and feelings about another person who they've bonded with might amplify.]

Just since we got here, so. Only like four months.

[ But he seems pretty sure. He scrubs at his face, thinking, knowing what Lance is getting at. ]

You think it's something that'll blow over?

[So not long indeed, and he's glad that Drake seems to get what he's implying and isn't taking offense.]

It's possible, and especially common in a place like this. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but you do want to be very sure of how you feel before you make any decisions based on it.

[Such as telling people.]

So I should just sit on it.

[ He frowns a little, thinking. He's. Pretty sure this isn't stress induced or something like that. But he'll wait, spend some more time processing if that what Sweets thinks is best. Thing is.... ]

What if it doesn't go away?

For a little longer, yes. Especially if you've only recently told them both about what happened in your world.

[Which is the impression he'd gotten. Everyone needs a chance for that to settle in before anything else gets shaken up.]

If it doesn't go away, then you have a difficult choice to make. It'll come down to your own judgement of who you have stronger feelings for, and if you're willing to take the risk of your worst case scenario coming to be.

[ A choice to make. Of course, there would be. Because there's no way that Liv would be cool with him seeing someone else, as well. Nothing can ever be easy. ]

Yeah, this isn't exactly coinflip material... no matter what, I'm losing at least one.

[Lance could say that's not necessarily true--and it's not, at least not while Drake's here--the chance of otherwise is pretty low. There's also the issue of that if Drake does return to his own world, he'll definitely lose both.

He wishes he could give him some way to make this easier, but he can't; this is one of those things that Drake just has to figure out and take a chance on.]

That might be the case, yes. So you need to be very sure of how you feel.

How do I do that? Be sure.

[ Because the very fact that his feelings are being called into question is just making him more certain they're real, at least right now. ]

That's something only you can know.

[And Lance doesn't know Drake well enough to give any advice as an observer, either. All he can judge by is his own experience, and he's well aware he's not the best when it comes to romantic relationships, so he really has no room to comment with what little he does know of the situation.]

...figures, you're not psychic. But I appreciate the advice, really.

[Although he thinks, sometimes, that being psychic would really help with his profession, he's not sure he would want to be able to hear the thoughts of people here. So, probably for the best, but still--]

I wish I could tell you something more, or at least better.

[But unfortunately that's not always how it goes.]

Maybe I just need to find a psychic, and then they can tell me.

[ He's joking.

It's not a great joke. ]

...this is probably the most mundane problem you've heard in awhile, though, huh? Total first world problems.

That might actually be possible here.

[Joke or not. And he shakes his head a little; yeah, sure, it's one of the most mundane--if not the most mundane--problems he's dealt with so far, but that doesn't make it any less important.]

More just universal problems, I think. No matter what worlds we come from, love is complicated.

[For better or worse.]

Well put, my man.

You been there?

You could say that, although not in terms of your particular situation.

[He's never been torn between two people at once; not really, anyway. But his relationships have definitely been challenges, even if this time he thinks he finally got it right.

Too bad he's going to die and it won't matter, but he'll just... Try not to think about that, although his expression falters briefly before he can hide it.]

[ Drake catches that -- he's an expert at reading people, after all, his life kind of depended on it back home. Even if he's been failing at it in the area where it matters to him lately. ]

...you wanna talk about it? Whatever it is that just put that look on your face. I'm not a therapist but I'm a good listener.

[For just a moment, Lance considers it--Drake would understand in a way most people wouldn't, considering his situation--but he can't. With this place being like it is it's not like normal rules about what's appropriate necessarily apply, but he still thinks it'd be crossing a line to tell Drake exactly because Lance knows he'd understand. It'd affect any further counseling Drake might need, and since Lance is the only mental health professional in Hadriel who's taking any clients, it'd be wrong to knowingly make himself less helpful to someone who might need it.

So, finally, he shakes his head a little, offering a weak smile.]

I appreciate the offer, but I'm okay. Thank you, though.

If you're actually okay. This isn't some kind of professional distance thing? =

[Why do you do this? Is this what it's like for other people when Lance doesn't let them get away with this sort of thing?

His options here are either to tell the truth or lie, and he's a terrible liar.]

That's part of it.

[Most of it. The rest of it is that Lance is secretive and hesitant to actually trust people, although he doesn't think there's any risk in that sense as far as telling Drake. And it's tempting, because no one else who knows can actually understand what it's like.

But he's still hesitating, because the professionalism thing isn't easy to ignore.]

[ Drake appreciates the honesty. He nods, understanding as much as he can without knowing exactly what it is Lance would talk about. ]

Well if you change your mind, I'm around? Offer's always open. You talked me through one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with, I can at least listen.

[ He wants to listen. He'd like them to be friends, if that's possible. Lance seems like a good guy. ]

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