lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

both
ive seen what they are capable of

「It helps, (but at the same time, it definitely doesn't) that it is not only the person he's looking after who has that problem, if anything he's trying to find what they have in common.

It is terrible that even if he thinks about it really hard, he might never notice that his own mental state wasn't so far from theirs not so long ago, maybe it still is, though, his destructive pattern is not nearly as glaring obvious as theirs as he doesn't wear it on his body, but he continues to take unnecessary risks even now.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he's plainly scared, about them, about his own apparent inadequacy to handle it. He's not supposed to fail like this to people.」

[It's still not enough for Lance to really go on, but at least it's an answer. So he makes a mental note of it, and then asks another slightly different one.]

What is it that they're doing that is worrying you? Is it some sort of active behavior, or a disregard for themselves, or something else?

「Well, he cannot really put them together anymore, he needs to choose here. Unfortunately leaving behind his roommate to favor the person he's taking care of, or trying to. There might be a few similarities anyway. His message come a little delayed, he didn't think he would have to spell every little thing to him.」

they... are not eating
they are hurting themselves they dont seem to care about anything
though...
they get angry if you get in their space
correct me if im wrong but if they truly didnt care shouldnt that say something?
hah... or am i ... seeing things where they are none?

[Alright, there's more there to work with, at least. Lance is still not a fan of drawing conclusions on such little information, but at least it's something.]

Without knowing more about the situation, I can't say much for sure, but you're not necessarily wrong in your conclusion. Anger is a 'safe' emotion for a lot of people, and they may allow themselves to feel and show it when they don't want to face the other things they're feeling. Lashing out at those around them is a common reaction, and a way to act on their emotions that is immediately rewarding.

[So not a healthy coping mechanism, but definitely not true apathy either. And... Well, he can't judge a whole lot on the not eating issue, considering this morning is the first time in several days that Lance has both managed to convince himself to have a meal and was able to keep it down. Of course, he's aware that isn't a good thing, but there are lots of reasons why it might be the case for whoever Atem is talking about.]

Right now, with the food shortage and the stress of everything that's happened in the past few weeks, not eating is understandably worrying and not the best way of handling things, but it's not necessarily as serious as it might seem to be. If they're still drinking water, then for now it might be best to just keep an eye on them.

[And all of that said, he's most concerned about one part of what Atem said that seemed separate from the other issues just addressed.]

Hurting themselves in what way?

「He reads the reply avidly, maybe trying to find an easy answer to this problem, and while there is not an immediate one, it... helps, some.」

no water but alcohol instead

the bloody way

Alcohol is the opposite of helpful in avoiding dehydration.

[And that, combined with Atem's next answer, indicate there really is reason to be concerned.]

Does this person have other friends here, who might be able to assist you in getting through to them?

[Because the options he'd normally suggest back in his world to deal with someone who is potentially an active danger to themselves really aren't available here, so they're going to work with what they have.]

yeah. i think so

「The fact is... he doesn't know them that well. But he's got his reasons to do this.」

do you have experience with this?

I primarily do trauma counseling, so I have specific experience helping people with issues related to stressful and traumatic events.

[So... Sort of. But there's an important caveat, and while he wishes he could reassure Atem that he knows exactly how to deal with this, that's neither ethical nor the truth.]

However, immediate threats are not my area of expertise. If I were in my world and had a patient who I thought was a pressing risk to themselves, I would refer them to someone who is trained to handle emergency cases.

[Which is, of course, not an option here.]

But the end result, which is that the individual is monitored to be sure they're safe while their underlying issues are addressed, can still be accomplished here.

[It just might not go over particularly smoothly.]

Edited 2017-12-22 00:51 (UTC)

「So, is he as lost as he is? Nah, probably not, but... It's not exactly reassuring either, but he appreciates the honesty.」

so i keep at it. is that it?

[Lance knows, theoretically, what's supposed to be done in this situation, he just doesn't consider himself--and likely objectively isn't--qualified for it. But for better or worse, he's still likely the most qualified person here, so there's... That.]

Not exactly, especially if it's just you. Their other friends need to be involved as well, and allowing them to continue their actively self-destructive behavior will only cause them to continue to get worse.

dont worry its just not me

「Even if it feels like it.」

but i will try that

「Somehow, he had been avoiding it, to get others involved. But maybe it's time to work his magic.」

[That's good to know, at least; a more intervention-like strategy, with multiple people involved, is most likely to be successful in this situation and with the resources they have.]

Okay. The more people that this individual knows care for them, even if they claim not to want it, the better. Often, despite the lengths they might go to hide it, people exhibiting this type of behavior truly want someone to find out and help them. It'll take time, and persistence, but this is one the symptoms that can't be ignored in hopes it will improve.

[But what Lance and Atem had talked about near the beginning of this conversation, and about someone having to want the help for it to be effective, might be less of an issue. Whoever it is may indeed very much want the help, even if it's only subconsciously.]

「How come he didn't think of it before? It seemed so easy... Maybe because he didn't want to overwhelm her, or because he thought he could do it by himself, somehow. But this is not something that he can do alone, this whole conversation is proof of it.」

i understand
i will do all i can

「He really means it.」

I'm sure you will.

[He doesn't at all doubt Atem in this.]

If you have further questions, or just need to talk to anyone, you can call or send me a message at any time. I'll help however I can.

i will. you can count on it

「At least he will try to keep in touch.」

and lance... thank you.
you...
just. thank you

「He has words. Just not enough space to express them.」

You're welcome, Atem.

Don't forget to take care of yourself while you're taking care of your friend, too. Set a good example.

[It's mostly a joke, but he means the sentiment. It can be very stressful trying to help someone who's in a bad place, even for a professional.]

「The reminder is a good one, he promised Law he'd take care of his body, it was a gift after all, he also needs to keep himself strong, because of the new weather, because people need him. Or so he wants to believe. So, no, he doesn't hate the reminder, he appreciates it, whether it is a joke or not.」

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