lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

Hey doc... sorry I only call for business, but do you have any time for an appointment?

Hello Drake. Of course; when would you like to meet?

I can come to your office this time, if that's easier. It doesn't matter anymore, who knows I'm seeing you.

If you're certain you're alright with that, then I'm actually at the Clinic already.

[So he can meet up as soon as Drake wants to.]

Yeah I'm good. I'll be right there.

[ And he is, only about ten minutes later, poking his head into the office and knocking politely. He has a bag in his other hand. ]

Hey Sweets. Feeling brave?

[Lance has mostly, at this point, forgone any attempts at maintaining some sort of professional appearance when meeting with people, at least if he already knows them and doubts they'd care. He both doesn't think Drake will care, and also just didn't have time or energy to go home and change, so he's wearing jeans and a hoodie and generally looking a lot like a tired college student.

But he smiles in greeting when Drake arrives, although his expression turns maybe slightly apprehensive at the question.]

I was until you asked me that.

[But he's also curious, and so the comment is not particularly serious.]

[ Drake actually looks a bit better than the last time Lance saw him. He'd had white streaks in his hair and had been oddly pale -- this time his hair is solid brown and his color is healthier, no pallor or red rimmed eyes. He closes the door as he comes in and sets the bag down on Lance's desk before taking a seat. ]

I've been messing around in the kitchen. Could be good, could be terrible, the stuff that grows in the orchard isn't familiar but hey. It's what we've got.

[ He can't really taste test on his own, either, but Ephemera had liked the last batch Drake made without brains and spices. If Lance opens the bag he'll find little experimental fruit cobbler looking things. ]

[Definitely a good change. Lance sits up a bit straighter in interest as Drake sets the bag down and explains, because--]

I'm sure it's better than anything I can make.

[He's always brave about food; he just can't assume that people in Hadriel, even those who seem as genuinely well-meaning as Drake, won't be carrying around something like a head in a bag.

But as it is, he opens the bag to see what's in it, and it's not just food but food that looks like it's probably sweet, and he's all about that sort of thing. So he offers a small but genuine smile at Drake.]

Thank you.

[But he'll try this later; Drake came here for a reason, so--]

How have things been?

[It's a genuine question but also an easy opening for Drake to explain whatever's bothering him, hopefully.]

Edited 2017-10-13 23:00 (UTC)

Well... I told them.

[ Them, he says, when last time he'd only been talking about telling his girlfriend. He catches himself. ]

Liv and my best friend, I mean. Some shit happened where I could have been killed here and I decided they both needed to know. It went... okay? It's complicated. [ He rakes a hand through his hair and tries to sort his thoughts better. One story at a time. ]

She's upset, but didn't dump me or anything. You know how I was worried it might make more sense to cut things off at the pass.

[Lance is curious about who else he told, but doesn't ask; if Drake wanted to say he probably would've. But he's glad to hear it didn't go horribly, at least; there's no real way it could've gone in a way that could be described as 'good', so okay is about the best that could probably be hoped for.]

I'm glad to hear that. Do you feel better, having told them, even with how complicated the situation is?

Yes. I don't feel like I'm lying anymore just by existing. You know? It's a load off.

Thing is, I realized...

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to decide how involved to get in someone else's life? Like. It's probably none of your business, but you feel like you could make a difference so you stick yourself into things you probably shouldn't? And then wonder why it's so important to you?

[He nods in understanding at that first part, but the questions Drake asks actually prompt a quiet laugh and an honest, if not entirely professional, answer.]

That's a problem I've been known to have, yes.

[A lot. Way too often. Being a psychologist kind of just makes it worse, too.]

Yeah, I guess you would. But I don't know if... I think I want something that'll screw everything up.

Motivation matters, doesn't it?

Edited 2017-10-13 23:46 (UTC)

Motivation does matter.

[But he doesn't know enough about the situation to say how that applies here, and presumes Drake will elaborate.]

Then I might have screwed up.

[ Drake presses his lips together, trying to organize his thoughts, but his head is sort of spinning here. He's never admitted this before, has hardly admitted it to himself, and certainly hasn't accepted it. He doesn't know what it means. Not for him, or him and Liv, or him and Ephemera. ]

I love Liv. I do, I'd marry her if I could, and getting to be with her here is even better than it was at home. It's not that I'm not happy.

But I fell for someone else too. Somebody that's relying on me a lot right now, and I don't know if I should be as involved in his life as I am, as long as I'm hiding this.

[Well, Lance is not exactly pleased to hear when someone has a problem of any sort, but this is a refreshingly normal issue to have. Even with the issues of Drake being dead in his world and potentially having feelings for someone from a completely different world making it a little more complicated, this is a much more mundane issue than a lot that come up here.

That also means Lance thinks he might be able to help more, or at least give better advice, so there's that. But he wants to make sure he truly understands the situation first.]

Okay, so just to be clear, there's someone here who you have feelings for, but you also still love Liv. And therefore you're concerned about being so involved in the other person's life and problems because you haven't told them, or Liv, how strongly you actually feel about them?

[He's just making sure he has the right impression of what's going on; there's no judgement in any of what he asks.]

In a nutshell, yeah. You got it.

[ And this is the point at which he needs advice, because. ]

I can't shake this feeling that I'm about to ruin everything.

[He nods in understanding, and yeah, a situation like this can be a mess, but usually a manageable one.]

What makes you think that? What is the worst case scenario for you?

Losing both of them.

[ There's no hesitation, no need to consider the question -- Drake knows what his worst case scenario is because he can't stop thinking about it. His hands curl into fists in his lap with tension. ]

Liv leaves me because she thinks I don't love her enough anymore, and I lose the best relationship I've ever had. Ephemera's freaked and tells me to fuck off, and I lose the best friend I've ever had.

I think other people figured it out before me, though, so even if I try and bottle this shit up... somebody could say something.

[Okay, pretty normal fears here, except for that last part anyway; he's not sure if Drake is being paranoid or someone might really have figured it out and, not only that, but might tell someone.

Also ah, so that's who Drake's friend and potential romantic interest is. Interesting to know.]

Are you sure of how you feel about him? How long have you known each other?

[Again, it isn't judgemental, just asking; crushes and infatuations happen, even as adults. It would make things a lot simpler if that were the case, and it's especially likely in a high stress situation--like being here--that someone's emotions and feelings about another person who they've bonded with might amplify.]

Just since we got here, so. Only like four months.

[ But he seems pretty sure. He scrubs at his face, thinking, knowing what Lance is getting at. ]

You think it's something that'll blow over?

[So not long indeed, and he's glad that Drake seems to get what he's implying and isn't taking offense.]

It's possible, and especially common in a place like this. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but you do want to be very sure of how you feel before you make any decisions based on it.

[Such as telling people.]

So I should just sit on it.

[ He frowns a little, thinking. He's. Pretty sure this isn't stress induced or something like that. But he'll wait, spend some more time processing if that what Sweets thinks is best. Thing is.... ]

What if it doesn't go away?

For a little longer, yes. Especially if you've only recently told them both about what happened in your world.

[Which is the impression he'd gotten. Everyone needs a chance for that to settle in before anything else gets shaken up.]

If it doesn't go away, then you have a difficult choice to make. It'll come down to your own judgement of who you have stronger feelings for, and if you're willing to take the risk of your worst case scenario coming to be.

[ A choice to make. Of course, there would be. Because there's no way that Liv would be cool with him seeing someone else, as well. Nothing can ever be easy. ]

Yeah, this isn't exactly coinflip material... no matter what, I'm losing at least one.

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