lifetothefullest | [IC Inbox]

[ Drake nods in understanding, then rakes a hand through his hair and leans back against the couch cushions. ]

I mean. The fact that it bothers me so much lying to her probably means I should tell her the truth, right? But I don't know if that's what's best for her. Then again, someone else could show up from her world who knows... and that'd be worse..?

[He hesitates a few moments, not wanting to give too many opinions of his own and influence Drake's decision, but decides on a few questions to help direct his thoughts a little.]

If situations were reversed, what would you hope she did? And how would you feel if you found out due to an event or another person from your world, instead of being told by her?

I think... I wouldn't want to know. But I'd feel like shit if I found out due to something or someone else, and realized she'd been lying to me about it. So it's kind of one point against and then one for.

And it seems like this place likes to screw with us.

[He nods in understanding.]

It does; you'll have to consider whether or not it's worth the risk that she'll find out.

[And there's another issue--]

There are also your own feelings to be concerned with, even if you're mostly just glad to be alive here. Is keeping this a secret detrimental to you emotionally? Is it causing you to act differently toward her, or preventing you from enjoying having this time with her?

[He thinks it would for himself, if Daisy were here, even if it were just subconsciously.]

[ Drake blinks like this is a novel suggestion, that it could be affecting him emotionally in ways other than worry. ]

Shit, I didn't even think about that. I. Don't know? It's definitely stressing me out but I've only really been thinking about her end of things in the future. Not mine in the present.

[Thinking of everyone's feelings means everyone's feelings, including one's own, which are just as important. Or at least they are when Lance is advising other people about the subject, but do as he says and not as he does.]

That's probably something you should put more thought into before you make a final decision. Your emotions and well-being aren't more important than hers, but they're not less important either. Whatever decision you make should be the most beneficial to both of you, even if it's not perfect for either individually.

Edited 2017-09-13 02:56 (UTC)

You're right. I just... I need to think. It's not that I'm not used to keeping secrets, it's just that there's usually a really important reason for it. It's obvious why I need to keep them. This one is more like.

[ He hesitates, puzzling it through. ]

I think I'd feel better getting it off my chest. But it'd hurt her, and that'd hurt me too.

[He nods at that; he definitely gets it, better than he should say.]

Do you think the hurt it would cause you both would be greater than what it would be for you if you didn't tell her, or for both of you if she found out through an event or some other way?

I think it'd be easier for us both if she hears it from me. If I can break it gently enough.

Don't suppose you have any advice on that?

[Lance personally thinks that's the best decision, and now that Drake has come it as well, he can go ahead and be a little more encouraging.]

I think you're probably right.

[As for the question--]

Make sure she fully understands the background, in that people can come from different times, and that--as far as we know--when people return to their worlds they don't remember anything. It'll be worse if you tell her your situation and she's confused in addition to everything else.

I dunno if that'd help, the point that she's going back to is pretty much the same as mine. I'm already gone, I don't want her to think she can get back and save me. Rush into something that'll get her killed. False hope will fuck you every time.

...but I guess if she won't remember........

[ He lifts a hand and rubs at his face. Why is this so hard? ]

If she knows she won't remember, she might not hold onto the possibility of rushing into the situation when she returns.

[Because the false hope thing had been what Lance was concerned about in particular; thinking she might be able to do something about returning home, combined with the stress of worrying about how to do that, will just make it more difficult for her to deal with and accept it.]

Yeah. Okay. So... I just need a game plan.

[ There's never going to be a good time, a right moment. He just needs to sit Liv down and break this to her gently. Make sure he's got his thoughts in order.

He gives Lance a weak smile. ]

Think it's cool to make cue cards?

[He offers a similar expression in return.]

For rehearsal in private, sure. But I wouldn't suggest letting her see them.

I'll keep the notes in my head, then.

You know what the hardest part is? I'm gonna be sticking an expiration date on us. 'Cuz obviously she's gotta go home.

Edited 2017-10-10 22:03 (UTC)

You're not putting an expiration date on your relationship. It's no different from finding out you have a terminal illness; it's something outside your control.

[And everything ends, eventually.]

You think there's a chance, when they finally let us out of here, that we can go somewhere else? I mean, I'd be alone, Liv's definitely going home, but.

It might be nice to not be dead.

[He shakes his head, though it's because he doesn't know rather than as a negative.]

I don't know. I believe some other people would like to do the same, though.

[Although Lance doesn't quite understand that idea; in concept he does, because it's not like it's something difficult to grasp that people may want to live, but he can't imagine finding it worth it himself. He'd spend whatever additional life he gained missing the people from his world.]

[ Drake would go somewhere with his best friend, who would be enough for him. Sure, there's a few people he'd miss but he'd actually be alive to miss them, and could make new friends. He thinks. He's pretty personable. ]

Maybe when they finally figure out how to open the door, it'll be a thing.

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