[He wants to make that clear again; it's important.]
Some psychologists advise trying to do so, but it's much more about choosing to let go of the anger and the connection it creates between you than anything about what was done being acceptable. While I agree with the general idea, I find calling it 'forgiveness' to be inaccurate and sometimes unhelpful.
[Because a lot of people can't move on if they feel like they have to deem the actions 'forgiven', and even if they want to do so they often feel guilt over the idea, like they're letting down whoever was wronged. So Lance prefers to put it in terms of freeing oneself from wasting any more of their life on someone who did something horrible to them.]
Thinking about the potential consequences and how it relates to people you care about is good; that's going to be a good motivator. Ultimately, the people you care for are far more important than someone who's wronged you. Remembering that, whenever you've tempted to get into an altercation, will be you best tactic.
[But, for a more satisfying motivation that he thinks Ephemera might also enjoy--]
It also really bothers those kinds of people if you treat them like they're utterly unimportant. Just a side benefit.
no subject
[He wants to make that clear again; it's important.]
Some psychologists advise trying to do so, but it's much more about choosing to let go of the anger and the connection it creates between you than anything about what was done being acceptable. While I agree with the general idea, I find calling it 'forgiveness' to be inaccurate and sometimes unhelpful.
[Because a lot of people can't move on if they feel like they have to deem the actions 'forgiven', and even if they want to do so they often feel guilt over the idea, like they're letting down whoever was wronged. So Lance prefers to put it in terms of freeing oneself from wasting any more of their life on someone who did something horrible to them.]
Thinking about the potential consequences and how it relates to people you care about is good; that's going to be a good motivator. Ultimately, the people you care for are far more important than someone who's wronged you. Remembering that, whenever you've tempted to get into an altercation, will be you best tactic.
[But, for a more satisfying motivation that he thinks Ephemera might also enjoy--]
It also really bothers those kinds of people if you treat them like they're utterly unimportant. Just a side benefit.