[The part about shinigami and supernatural notebooks that can kill is the most ridiculous part of the story, so it's little wonder Mello's concerned about being taken seriously on the subject. Near was easy to convince, using the reasoning that if Mello were to lie, he would make up something that sounded more reasonable - they were both trained under the same system, so in that respect, they knew each other too well.]
There were two notebooks in play, actually. I'd acquired one, and Kira had the other. In order to kill, the notebook's owner needed two pieces, their intended victim's face, and their true name. "Mello" isn't my real name, of course, but that was a safety measure put into place by the orphanage, well before Kira ever came to power. None of us knew each other's real names, and it wasn't really important - we were encouraged, maybe not explicitly but implicitly, to forget our pasts and focus on our training, on who we might become.
[He pauses, chewing on the black-painted nail of his index finger while deciding on the best phrasing for the next part of the story.]
I didn't have the notebook in my possession for long - Kira and his forces, which included law enforcement, stormed my safe house in order to reclaim it. I was cornered by one of those agents, after he'd taken possession of the notebook, and he was able to discover my name. Now, as far as I'm aware, that name should have remained a secret - I'm not even sure the orphanage kept it on file, once I'd been placed there. No one should have been able to find it. But there was, of course, something a loophole - when you became the owner of a shinigami's notebook, you had the option of making a deal for the shinigami's sight, which would tell you the name and remaining life span of anyone whose face you clearly saw. This man who had me cornered had made such a deal, so all he had to do was look at me, and he knew my name. He had the notebook in his hands, and he could've killed me in less than a minute.
[But he hadn't. Soichiro Yagami had tried to convince Mello to give himself up, right to the end.]
He didn't kill me, obviously - he was a good man, I think, except for being mixed up in Kira's war. I asked him if he'd ever actually killed anyone before. He hesitated, and one of my associates created a diversion. I was able to escape, but I had to blow up the entire building to do so.
[Thus the scar over the side of his face. No need to draw attention to it; Mello has no doubt Lance is smart enough to fit those pieces together.]
I lost everything, that night - the notebook, all the resources I'd built. But I was determined to keep fighting. I kept monitoring Kira and his agents, and Near did the same. One of Near's people was feeding me information about their progress - it may've even been Near's idea, so he could keep an eye on what my moves were. But when she told me about Near's plan to face Kira in person and trick him into showing his hand by writing a name in the notebook, I ...
[He trails off, looks away, frowns deeply. It's been more than a year, and it's still hard to remember the moment he made the decision to end his life in service of stopping Kira.]
You see, one of the ways in which Kira was able to operate for so long is that he had proxies. I'd come to the conclusion that there were two such individuals, and only one of them was using the real notebook. The other, the one that Near and his team had focused on, was using an elaborate fake. If Near had faced Kira as he intended, he and his team would've been killed, because Near had failed to consider the possibility that the notebook this proxy was using was a fake - an effective piece of misdirection. And I decided I couldn't allow that to happen. I decided ... Near had to be shown that there was a fake notebook. And the only person who could do that was me. I planned to kidnap his second proxy, the one who was carrying out the executions in secret, in order to trick the other into revealing the location of the real notebook. I figured ... she must've been told my real name, so all I would have to do is show her my face. Then she could write my name down, and ...
[Well, no need to finish that sentence. He shrugs. It's pretty obvious what would happen, with his name and face and a piece of the notebook in her possession.]
I was brought here the day before I'd intended to put that plan into action.
i'm so sorry for this novel /o\
There were two notebooks in play, actually. I'd acquired one, and Kira had the other. In order to kill, the notebook's owner needed two pieces, their intended victim's face, and their true name. "Mello" isn't my real name, of course, but that was a safety measure put into place by the orphanage, well before Kira ever came to power. None of us knew each other's real names, and it wasn't really important - we were encouraged, maybe not explicitly but implicitly, to forget our pasts and focus on our training, on who we might become.
[He pauses, chewing on the black-painted nail of his index finger while deciding on the best phrasing for the next part of the story.]
I didn't have the notebook in my possession for long - Kira and his forces, which included law enforcement, stormed my safe house in order to reclaim it. I was cornered by one of those agents, after he'd taken possession of the notebook, and he was able to discover my name. Now, as far as I'm aware, that name should have remained a secret - I'm not even sure the orphanage kept it on file, once I'd been placed there. No one should have been able to find it. But there was, of course, something a loophole - when you became the owner of a shinigami's notebook, you had the option of making a deal for the shinigami's sight, which would tell you the name and remaining life span of anyone whose face you clearly saw. This man who had me cornered had made such a deal, so all he had to do was look at me, and he knew my name. He had the notebook in his hands, and he could've killed me in less than a minute.
[But he hadn't. Soichiro Yagami had tried to convince Mello to give himself up, right to the end.]
He didn't kill me, obviously - he was a good man, I think, except for being mixed up in Kira's war. I asked him if he'd ever actually killed anyone before. He hesitated, and one of my associates created a diversion. I was able to escape, but I had to blow up the entire building to do so.
[Thus the scar over the side of his face. No need to draw attention to it; Mello has no doubt Lance is smart enough to fit those pieces together.]
I lost everything, that night - the notebook, all the resources I'd built. But I was determined to keep fighting. I kept monitoring Kira and his agents, and Near did the same. One of Near's people was feeding me information about their progress - it may've even been Near's idea, so he could keep an eye on what my moves were. But when she told me about Near's plan to face Kira in person and trick him into showing his hand by writing a name in the notebook, I ...
[He trails off, looks away, frowns deeply. It's been more than a year, and it's still hard to remember the moment he made the decision to end his life in service of stopping Kira.]
You see, one of the ways in which Kira was able to operate for so long is that he had proxies. I'd come to the conclusion that there were two such individuals, and only one of them was using the real notebook. The other, the one that Near and his team had focused on, was using an elaborate fake. If Near had faced Kira as he intended, he and his team would've been killed, because Near had failed to consider the possibility that the notebook this proxy was using was a fake - an effective piece of misdirection. And I decided I couldn't allow that to happen. I decided ... Near had to be shown that there was a fake notebook. And the only person who could do that was me. I planned to kidnap his second proxy, the one who was carrying out the executions in secret, in order to trick the other into revealing the location of the real notebook. I figured ... she must've been told my real name, so all I would have to do is show her my face. Then she could write my name down, and ...
[Well, no need to finish that sentence. He shrugs. It's pretty obvious what would happen, with his name and face and a piece of the notebook in her possession.]
I was brought here the day before I'd intended to put that plan into action.